A New Direction

With things with me getting worse and worse, and time running out, Ive finally made a decision. One that Im sure many will disagree on. But one that has privately been discussed with those closest to my heart.

Bugalugs and I finally have everything in place, and we leave this morning. We go to spend what time I have with Dickhead, allowing him to finish his treatment which gives him a chance, a chance I no longer have.

I cannot be seperated from Bugalugs, and I have chosen to not be seperated from the other special man in my life either.

Thankyou for your well wishes and support. And even the occasional kick up the backside.

There are some who will understand this post, they knew it was coming. To those I send my deepest love. You know who you are, you know what you mean to me, you know what the decision in this post means. You all have mail to read.

puik liefde,
Heuning

DICKHEAD IS HOME

Much is happening.

Its time for me to make choices. Serious, life changing choices.

Im not well. Not in a good place. Tire so very easily. So much of my strength is simply gone. Physical, mental and emotional strength. Im almost completely empty. Its vapours, just vapours. And when I look inside the tank, I cant see how Im even managing to exist at all.

Not just my life, not just the path I take, but me, the very essence of me, is being decided.

Lately

There are more and more bad days, and the good ones are just mediocre. I didnt even get drunk or debaucherous since last friday night, which still has ramifications even now.

Bugalugs’ footy is going great guns and ill be back to tell you all about it (still top of the ladder – which the storm ARE NOT are they babe! HA HA HA)

The Bulldogs play the Storm tonight (in melb unfortunately, and Dickhead is currently stopping over in Dubai for a couple days on his way home (hes been there since Sat arvo – do I know when he’ll be home? no!) Hopefully the dogs will get up and i can laugh at him when he DOES come home. Im unable to call him atm and im missing him. Lookout when you get back babe – I swear after 2 months+ Im gunna eat you alive.

Just letting all the concerned parties know Im still around. Even if I do suck right now.

Please Excuse My Bloggy Absence

Dear Sir/Madam

Please excuse Honey from blogging recently as she has been sick. Duh.

Sincerely

Moi.

Folks let me tell ya, its been weird. And full on. And not. Its all a bit weird and messed up and, well, stuff. And yes I know im not making sense. So Ill leave you for now with the good, the bad and the ugly….

THE GOOD

Hmmm, well this category would have to include the fact that I have a new toy, with another on the way, thanks to my good friend Miss Noisy. Everygirl needs BOB sometimes, especially me seeing as Dickhead has been gone for 2months. No wonder the woman at the service station where i buy calling cards to talk to him has been commenting on the amount im spending, and asking “just how much phone sex are you two having?”

THE BAD

would include my financial mess, which honestly wouldnt be a problem if i just sat down and thought about it and shit, but i cant seem to get motivated/concentrate on anything for more than 5 seconds at the moment. also the fact that my phone is fucked. no idea whats going on there. 3 weeks till contract expires and i get offered something new and pretty and shiny. meh.

THE UGLY

friday night at PJ Gallaghers and the fallout. nuff said.

Google Searchers & Spammers

To the people who are searching for “big Dickhead”

HANDS OFF – HES MINE

To the people searching for “arabic boobs”

Mine ARE awesome, but im not arabic – thats dickhead and boobs arent something he has

To the person searching “upset at having cum inside me”

Use a condom. We dont want you procreating anyway.

To the spammer who hit my blog 18 times in a row

Thats the most donkey porn links i have EVER seen. How DID you find them all? And why do i need them 18 times over?

BL72104325

Thats the Number of the photo of bugalugs playing footy. Its HERE. Hes in the background of quite a few others. Hes #10. You know, the one with blue hair. LOL. Kinda hard to miss. That was the game i told you about where he was captain, so the chance to get the ball and run just wasnt there that week. He was the playmaker instead.

How awesome is it that they send out photographers to the games? Unfortunately the guy was only there for about 5-10 minutes. My besty MIN has some fucking brilliant action shots of her eldest boy from last year.

Oh, and look forward to some serious bitching and name dropping in the next couple of weeks. MIN is team manager this year, with her husband coaching the under 6s (of another club, not ours) and she recently had a run in with a team being managed by a prominant Rugby League player. Although I havent had any dealings with him, his reputation from last year as an extremely bad sportsman seems to be being confirmed again this year with his son now playing for a third club (not mine nor MINs).

Lets just say that a parent or two from an opposing team a couple of times have copped a mouthful from me due to their behaviour, and my PMS is in full force this month, and we play his team shortly.

I must say, that i second her suggestion of a strongly worded email to The Footy Show on channel 9 should his bastardly behaviour continue.

And no, he isnt a Bulldog. Never has been. Its not just the boys in blue and white who are a disgrace to the code. Why am i so pissed off? Because parents attitudes make a huge difference to the boys. The boys who play dirty come from teams where the parents display fucked up behaviour. The well behaved teams have well behaved parents. I went off my nut about parents and teams behaviours before, but deplorable behaviour from a team manager, let alone an A-Grade representitive footy player, is a million times worse.

How do us decent (even if we do swear like a fishermans wife) parents teach our kids to behave properly in the face of such behaviour by people they are supposed to look up to as role models?

Sigh

Shut up Honey. Go look at more pics of your blue haired monster and feel better before you blow a gasket.

By the way, saturday just gone saw the Waratahs play Brothers, which is the local catholic team (with “real” coaching etc). Considered the best club in the comp. Warratahs won. Again. Thats 7/8 games won, with only the first game lost (theyd never even trained before) Granted that track record includes trial and preseason games, but the boys dont care. Their on a winning streak and are damn proud of it. Even with Brothers being able to convert almost all their trys (we never have – but weve come close!). with 10 mins o go we led 20 – 16, and managed to pull 3 more tries to their 1 in the final half (they play 3 x 10minute halves – yes im calling them halves shut up).

Hmmm, maybe i should find the draw and the ladder????? (yes i know their only Under7s. Im proud dammit! shaddap!

GRIN

on DH, phone calls, and my new friend

 i want you to watch me kiss her. carress her. i want you to see me take her nipple into my mouth, suck, lick, nibble, flick it with my tongue, cup her breast in my hand as i do. slide my other hand over her hair, her cheek, her neck, her shoulder, down to the small of her back, pull her in closer, run my hand over her ass, squeezing it gently, then tighter, pulling her against me.

i want you to watch me lay her back on the couch, slipping in to kneel between her feet, slide her jeans over her hips and off her long legs, running my hands back up the outside of her legs, over her thighs, and back down again, feeling her smooth skin. i want you to wach me drink her in with my eyes, committing her body to memory, as i slide my hands back up her legs again, this time on the inside, gently parting her legs as i go, slowly leaning further in, closer to her

my hands  finally reaching her thighs, spreading her ever more, gently,my face so close i can smell her. i want you to watch as i slowly and softly touch the tip of my tongue to her pussy, lightly licking at the top of her, as i watch her face for her reaction. i want you to see me do it again, and agin, getting slightly firmer and further in each time. i want you to see me pull her legs open a little more, and dip my head to lick softly along her from bottom to top. then again, a little firmer, a little deeper, feeling her relax into me, again and again until my tongue is flat against her, lapping along her from her opening to her clit.

i want to feel you watching me as i focus on her clit, rubbing my tongue on her, flatly licking, then flicking it with the tip of my tongue, then sliding back down along her, tasting her response to me.

i want you to see me take my hand from her thigh, and softly slip it over her mound, massaging her, my fingertips finding her clit and rubbing softly, slipping further down. i want to watch you watch me dip my index finger into her, hear her gasp as i enter, you watch my finger slipping into her, and sliding slowly back out. i want to watch you watching me slowly fuck her with my finger until she relaxes, only to gasp again as my middle finger joins the first, slowly fucking her.

i want you to hear her softly moan as you watch me tongue her pussy again, rubbing her clit with my tongue, breathing gently onto her, tasting her, fucking her, not taking my eyes from you. i want you to be so turned on that you take your cock out and touch yourself. i want to see you slowly stroke yourself as i continue to lick her and finger her. i want to see that i am turning you on.

now that i know how much i am affecting you i turn more attention to her. i lick her a little firmer and faster, twisting my fingers a little as i push them in, then twist the other way as i pull them out. i slip my other hand off her as she starts moaning and writhing beneath me, and i start touching myself, rubbing my clit softly, round and round in tiny circles. i hear you sigh and i smile, my tongue never leaving her, tasting her, lapping at her as my other hand finds my own wetness.

i look over to see that me playing with myself is exciting you more. that just gives me even more incentive and desire, and i fuck her harder, and lick her more intensely. im getting so hot, licking her, feeling her body respond, and watchiing you stroke yourself as you watch me. i stop fucking her with my fingers, turning my hand upwards and curl my fingers to massage her sweet spot, workingmy tongue harder and faster on her clit. she writhes even more below me, moaning more and louder, swearing, pleading, rubbing and pulling at her nipples with her fingers. she notices you touching yourself and it works her up more.

i feel her getting closer, squirming beneath me, her breathing getting harder, moaning more, her pussy tightening around my fingers. i work at her harder, moving my hand from between my legs to hold her steady,as she is moving around more and more. im loving the feel of her softness against my tongue, feeling how wet she is on my fingers, having her slowly dampening my palm as she gets closer to coming. i glance over to see your hand moving faster, your eyes fixed on mine, blowing me a kiss, letting me know allof this is between us, even though we arent touching, as your gaze drops to my mouth covering her pussy again, as i pull back a little to let you see better as my tongue flicks her clit, then i turn my attention back to her as i know she cant wait any more, and either can we.

i suck her clit into tmy mouth gently, teeth ever so softly holding her as i suck on her, massaging her with my tongue as i increase the pressure within her with my fingers. it doesnt take much of this until her voice raises, her back arches and she comes, bucking her hips softly as she sontracts around my fingers, drenching my hand as i keep going, drawing as much from her as she will let me before it becomes too much to bear and she backs away. i release her from the hold i have on her clit, gently pull my fingers from within her and lap at her gently, tasting her, licking her clean of the orgasm i took from her, smiling over at you as i do, allowing her to rest and settle as i slow my tongue on her lips, and gently kiss her hips, running my hands lightly along her thighs.

as my breathing begins to slow and i drag myself back from the pleasure she brought me, i realise you arent sitting in your seat any more. before i have time to worry or wonder where you are i feel your hand on the small of my back. before i have time to realise what is going on, i feel your cock pushing into me. the shock and pleasure of you entering me from behind has me groaning and pushing back against you, eagerly wanting to feel your hardness within me.

i am so wet already that you slide in easily, taking it slow and deliberate, knowing how i love to feel the exquisitness of your thickness penetrating me for the first time. finally i feel your pelvis against my ass as you settle inside me, enjoying the brief moment before you start fucking me. you pull out almost all the way and slide into me again, a little faster this time, a little harder. again you pull back, almost the whole way, so far i think maybe you will leave me, only to have you push back in, harder and faster again, making me moan as you fill me. again and again you do this, gradually getting harder and faster, sometimes pulling all the way out, making me whimper, only to return harder, faster, deeper than before, driving me crazy, making me desperate to have you, wanting all of you and still more, feeling so good i almost cant stand it. i adjust my position slightly making it easier for  you, opening my legs a little more for you, your balls starting to brush against my clit, my head lowering to rest against her thigh as i give in to you, she is watching you as she slowly regains her composure.

your hands on my ass as you take me, you feel so hard from watching me earlier, your occasional groans of pleasure go unheard as i cant stop moaning from how good you feel, filling me, knowing neither of us have long to wait, feeling you pleasing me, riding me with abandon as i succumb to you……..

feeling how hard you have made me cum on your cock is all you need, and as i start to subside i feel you swell and pulse within me, closing my eyes i concentrate on how amazing you feel as you give in and cum inside me. as you finish you slip from me and seat yourself, exhauseted and satisfied between my feet. still panting i turn and gently lick you until you subside, tasting us both together,along with the taste of her still in my mouth, softly and gently licking you clean, carressing you with my mouth until you are settled.

as you relax and my breathing begins to return to normal, i feel a gentle hand softly slipping over my pussy…….

she has recovered
 

25.04.2007

FOR THE FALLEN

With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children
England mourns for her dead across the sea,
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
Fallen in the cause of the free.

Solemn the drums thrill: Death august and royal
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,
There is music in the midst of desolation
And glory that shines upon our tears.

They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eyes, steady and aglow,
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

They mingle not with their laughing comrades again,
They sit no more at familiar tables of home,
They have no lot in our labour of the daytime,
They sleep beyond England’s foam.

But where our desires and hopes profound,
Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
As the stars are known to the night.

As the stars shall be bright when we are dust,
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain,
As the stars that are stary in the time of our darkness,
To the end, to the end, they remain.

  Laurence Binyon

 

With special thoughts today going to Peter, Josh, Michael and Greg. Stay safe. Come home.

 

On Football and Mummy Blogging

Eels v Bulldogs. What a game. I thoroughly enjoyed it. El Magic is just awesome when he brings his boots, and today he was again a pleasure to watch.

Bugalugs played Captain yesterday in his game, and the team won their 6^th consecutive game, 32-24. It was thoroughly awesome! He is one of the biggest kids, both stocky and tall. And yesterday morning I did as all bogan westie mothers do, and cut his hair….. into a Mohawk. And to top off the bogan-ness, I sprayed it bright blue, to match his uniform. His coach’s comment upon seeing him arrive at the game summed it up perfectly: “wow! DANGER! Look at Bugalugs, boys! Heres TROUBLE!” If the other team wasn’t scared enough of him last time, they sure were now! He looked awesome! Theres a pic with him in his training kit, as jerseys are handed to the manager after each game for washing. I tell you, it was definitely the week to do it, as there was a photographer taking shots all day, and I guarantee “that tough kid with the blue hair” will be in at least a couple! Famewhore that I am! (Its ok, my son’s a poser – soon as a cameras around he’s right up in it)

Bugalugs is a little frightened on the field after an incident a couple of weeks ago when he was stomped on the face by an opposing player in a particularly rough game (a game also littered with parents yelling abuse from the sideline, and an endemic tactic of their players tackling our boys by grabbing the collar of their shirt and yanking backwards. Strangulation is NOT an approved method of tackling, people!). He was also punched in the nose by a teammate just prior to taking the field this weekend, and so was a little skittish, so the hair certainly helped his confidence. Which I was glad of, because as the biggest kid (as well as the youngest) on his team, he gets to go toe to toe with the biggest kid on the opposition, because the kids think its fair (and their probably right). However as a mum you’re a bit concerned when the biggest kid stands 6 inches or more over your son, and is tongan. You get more concerned when as the kids take the field, tongan-kid shoves your boy in the back for no reason. 10 points to Bugalugs for spinning round on him and yelling “fuck off” at the top of his lungs. 100% worth having the ref give you a stern warning, no?

Highlights of the game for Bugalugs included and awesome kick off by him, a perfectly placed kick for goal (apart from the 6 or so inches he lacked in height to get over the crossbar, but otherwise was spot on), an absolutely textbook tackle made on the tongan kid that nobody else would touch that saved a try, 4 brilliant assists, a control of the game that was astounding for a 6yr old ADHD kid that has never paid attention to ANYTHING for 30mins straight, let alone something requiring thought and forward planning (something that little kids, let alone ADHD sufferers have a lot of trouble with), and most proudly for me, he was everywhere on field, encouraging, guiding and praising his teammates at every turn. He was a brilliant captain, and a fantastic sportsman. Props. Big props.

Being the little powerhouse that he is, with such huge potential for his team, we have an NRL idol for him, and a theme song. Before you all start spouting shit, his mum is a Bulldogs fan, through and through. And half of what you hear in the media is hype, as in most “reports” the media does on most things nowadays. And Willie Mason is an awesome player. And wile I wont get into the off field allegations and my opinions on them (and the facts – you hear that media? Remember what they are? – on why 90% of them are false allegations) nobody can argue that he has a great game, and is a hard man to stop. Just like bugalugs. Bugalugs regularly has 3-5 players trying to bring him down, and he just keeps going. Its AWESOME. So he and I watched the game against the Eels this arvo, and studied his form intently. Bugalugs is fired up for next week when he will get more runs with the ball, and cant wait to try some of Mason’s moves himself.

Oh, and before you think all this is being taken far too seriously and grown-up like for an Under Sevens Team…… Bugalugs’ theme song I mentioned….? Well, ever see Finding Nemo? Remember when Dory was motivating Nemo’s dad Marlin, and sung “just keep swimming, just keep swimming” over and over again? Well Bugalugs is told to catch the ball and just keep running, just keep running…..

Dory was the little blue fish voiced by Ellen Degeneres. Bugalugs is known to his teammates as “FISH”. Because in their bright blue uniform, he is the little blue fish that just keeps swimming.

 Kinda like his mum really. His really, really proud mum.

and….

ages since i posted. very busy. crazy much. tell you all about it later maybe. not good stuff so maybe best to just let it die its natural death.

all these questions about the offer i got for my weekend at the beach!

all i can say is, those porn stars have balls. 27 inches of cock is daunting. very daunting. (and mouth watering – someone get me a bucket for my drool, STAT)