Archive for May 2006

All Good Things Must End

May 31, 2006

Today a number of things in my life have come to a close. And over the next few days quite a few more will follow.

One in particular is on its way out for such a piss poor fucking reason its not freaking funny. Makes me want to use the c**t word. Oh yes, that one.

However the thing I was meaning by the title, was my love for wordpress. I had been so excited in the move, and since, to have my blog readable again. And useable. Sigh. I even foolishly thought the tecnicamabobbleness would be easier here. OH the tomfoolery of it all! I should know better than that by now, shouldnt I?

So in addition to the mindboggling situation re: the magic that is statcounter, and how the god damn fuck you are supposed to put the little code-y thing in here that I honestly cant be fucked figuring out right now, I have now a new dilemma.


And how to put them here. Coz I cant. Again.

Fuckity Fuck fuck fuck. Fucking retarded fuckyness of the pooters. Made by those fuckiest of fucks, MEN. Fuck.

Yes I do feel better now for that, thankyou children.

And here I am, sitting here with pics of the pillowy goodness, and HOLY FUCK OF FUCKS WAS THAT GOOD LAST NIGHT OR WHAT? Best time ive had in bed by myself for a looooooooooong time! Sorry, no wank masterbatory poetry here. Ill leave that to the talented Steph. Ill just continue with the profanity, as that seems to be my calling in the past few days. What can I say, Im genetically predisposed to be a champion swearer. Just ask our good friend Russell Allen (hey russ, i can add plenty of one liners, words and phrases to your favourite one…..all just as good or betterer even!) Ah the flair, the colour, the originality, and the emphaticness! And the pommy blood means I can say such gems as prat, twat and bollocks as the dear lord intended. Filthy mouth? moi? tee hee hee, not me! (much) and oh my god where was I? ah yes, just about at the bottom of the glass. Best gets me another. Whats that? my post is starting to ramble? And become incoherrant?

bwahhahahahahaha! Since when did i ever make sense?

Pissed? Moi? Course not. So tonight its pillowy goodness along with a liberal amount of maggotty goodness (is that a word?) sprinkled with some incoherant nonsense. And oh yes, those other pics I had are of the wonderful new concretey addition to my neighbours doorstep. I have named it Ralph.

Dont even start me on why I name things. Or why I name them what I do. A guy I once knew I named GEORGE because he refused to tell me his actual name (until then I knew him only by his nickname). He asked why, so I explained that George, for some reason, is a word that makes me laugh. Alot. I love it. Im laughing now just thinking of it. GEORGE! Say it with me now! LOL. So anyway, all was fine and dandy with this arrangement (I even managed to get other people to call him George, and introduced him as such to all my friends). That was, until the inevitable. Let me impart a word of wisdom here girlies. Calling a guy GEORGE because it makes you laugh and be merry is great, but beware. Men dont like it when you unzip their pride and joy, begin to lavish them with oral affection, and then laugh at their name.

I cant understand why, but apparently pissing yourself laughing so hard till you cant breathe whilst face to face with their manhood is not the most condusive method of maintaining an erection.

And with that pearl of wisdom, I leave you to go get myself another bottle of sparkles. This ones empty. MWAH.


And Another Thing

May 30, 2006

I went shopping today.

I spent many dollars.

Almost all of the dollars were spent on my bedroom.

I have such a comfy bed now.

All new underlay, flanelette sheets, new quilt, new quilt cover, pillows (lots of pillows, cussions.

Did I mention pillows?

Because they are so big and fluffy, that the pillows and cussions now reach halfway down my bed.

And tonight, Im going to sleep with ALL of them on the bed.

Wrapped up in fluffy sheets and quilt, on a massive pile of fluffy pillow goodness.


Of Mice & Men

May 30, 2006

Bear with me, the title will make sense.

Firstly the mice. Theyre back. Fucking little mouse turds all in a heap. Ewww. Fucking little fuckers. Looks like its backout with the little green pellet things. Bugalugs thinks its so cool. He hates the bastards too. He finds it funny (sick little freak that he is) to see their droppings turn green. That way he knows their eating them, and comes to me saying "mum, the mouses shit is green, hes been eating the green things and hes gunna get dead very soon". He says it with such glee. Sigh. Oh well.

Secondly the men. DH and I have hardly seen each other in ages. Busy little buggers that we are. And so naturally, I have been silently getting grumpier and grumpier at this (also not helped by the fact that Im not getting any earth moving shags, but anyhoooooo). So yesterday it came to a head, along with my grumpyness, and so I started to complain. Well, I got to the preamble, anyway.  Then he had to go. Then when he called back I couldnt talk. Then this morning I called and he couldnt talk. Then he called this arvo and I couldnt. Then he called again and I couldnt, but thats OK coz he couldnt either, he just had a few minutes till he got where he was going and so wasted this precious free time on the phone with me. SIGH.

So at the end of it, we both agreed we couldnt talk, but needed to, and decided that later when we could talk, we would have the argument then.

Its such a sad state of affairs when you dont even have time to fight. When even an argument has scheduling difficulties.

Before our day of leisure together on Friday, it had been about 6 weeks since we had spent any real time together. Its hard to keep a friendship going like that. And the strain is really starting to show. At least it is with me. Maybe if I saw him I could tell you about his side. Sigh.

post script – goodness me, what alot of sighing in that post!  Even for me!

Connundrum the Second

May 29, 2006

Ok, so yes, I know its like, AGES sice the first one, but shut up.

So to start, I have a computer. Its has viruses. Yes, virusES. Multiple bits of adware, spyware, trojans, and even a worm. Plus some other stuff that the anti-virus software doesnt feel like catagorising. Every 30 seconds or so, my PC beep as me with a little "plop" noise. 24hrs a day. Its fucked I tells ya, FUCKED!

Now, to fix these thingies, I need to be online. Which of course is where all the little fuckupy things happen (as well as where they came from, thankyou so much guys for all the lesbian porn, blowjobs, threesomes and other unmentionables that you have downloaded, like thats not where it came from). And a big Hello! to all the pissed off perverts from google, I know that sentance will score on the search results. Sigh. No Im not spelling it weird just to keep them away. Where was I? Ah yes. But it seems one or more of these things, besides having turned on the pop up thingys back on, has made it so everytime i open a website, i have about 2 minutes on it before im kicked off IE. Fucking Fucktards. I need to be on there to get the info on how to fuck the fuckers off. Married to a sailor? Moi? Wherever did you get that idea?

So its a week later, to the day, and fuck the sensibilities of others, its my blog and i'll say what I want. I still hate that bit of my house. I hate that the paint is damaged, and that it reminds me of why, but I hate even more the idea of having to fix it. Where are the house painting fairies I asks ya? Where? And what of their cleaning cousins too? Lazy arsed fucks never make it to my house. Bet their in a union. Anyhoooooo….. Ive also run out of that cream that makes bruises dissapate faster. My lovely expensive concealer has reached the very last dribs, and I have run out of clothes that hide them. Strangers are now seeing the bruising and making inane comments about "oooooh that looks like it hurt" and "oh dear, how did that happen". I have run out of polite ways to say "fucking mind your business" and so have started messing with them in really odd ways. Its fun, actually, in a weird way. Im still a bit sore, and sorry for myself, but the real pain is not in the bruising.

Which after glossing over alot of it like that, brings me to someone else who shall remain nameless and their conversation with me today. Which is all I will say about that I think. Just that, and that it left me thinking. Thinking about a great deal more than I wanted to.

Which got me irritated at what quite a few friends had said on the issue. None of which I was overly impressed with.

And on that note, of being unimpressed, please read the following under the proviso that words can never express what I truly feel on the issue, but a small attempt has been made to put it here in as public a forum as possible, so that all may know of my displeasure……..

You, young lady, know who you are. You were one of my best friends for years. You loved me once, as I loved you. You still say you do, which may just be the worst thing you have done. You tried to drive a wedge between me and another. You lied. You recruited others with your lies to help you perpetrate your deciet. You risked my safety, and that of my son. You whored my trust and friendship out to others, and did it for the lowest price imaginable. You put me in a position where I was compromised in one of the worst ways imaginable. You were reckless with my physical, mental and emotional standing. You played with fire, and I got burnt. You injured others through me. The fallout continues to grow, while you sit safe and secure in your fantasy world. You betrayed me, me son, my partner, my friends, your friends, my family, a complete stranger and women as a whole. You committed a crime. More than one. You coerced others to unwittingly commit crimes on your behalf. You blamed others when the shit you stirred started to come back on you. You tried to blame ME, the VICTIM for your actions. You stirred up a hornets nest, and I hope every single one of the little buggers you antagonised bites you on your firm little buttocks that you did NOT get as a gift from god, but for a large sum of money at a skilled doctors hand. Oh I can get WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more bitchy and personal than that, but that is what  you would do, and im so far above you, you cannot even hope to grasp at the concept.  What you did was so far wose than my attacker, I would gladly embrace him if it meant you could comprehend for a moment what you did to me. You have not even apologised. And if you did, I wouldnt accept it anyway.

As of this very instant, you are dead to me. You mean nothing. I will not even allow you to penetrate my thoughts. Everything we ever had is nothing. And this will hurt me probably more than you, but as much as I love your husband and your children, I want nothing to do with them either. I will not ask your husband to betray his wife, and I will not watch your children become in any way the person you are. They are too precious. It pains me greatly to know that they cannot escape the genetic filth you have passed onto them. Someone suggested to me that you should rot in hell, and that I should tell you as much. Honestly, (and fucking hell has this post ever been honest) I wont, because I dont care what happens to you any more.

A New Start

May 28, 2006

So heres to the new blog. Third times a charm and all that. Plus me and three's are just so good together. Oh God. Here we go again then.

I'm not really in too much of a mood to write. Im still trying to finish the set up here, and well, if Im being honest, the reality is Im tired, a bit grumpy still, and its FUCKING FREEZING!!!

 I love my floorboards and all, but this house is so damn cold! And the second you turn off the heating, icicles start to form.

So instead, after such a long and busy day close on the heels of yesterday, which I will post about later, I plan on logging off my computer which incidently has viruses (yes, plural) and curling up under about 6 doonas with a pile of pillows and cussions, a hot water bottle, and a good book.

I'd add a warm drink to the scenario, but that means exposing more skin to the cold air, so nuh.

Cant Get Rid Of Me That Easily

May 28, 2006

Im not leaving just yet.

And when I do, I’ll be directing you all over there>>>>>>>>>

or there

Its Late, & I’m Lazy

May 27, 2006

so heres the quick version

* cops are useless
*people think that giving an apology automatically grants them immunity from blame
*people wont hear your apology if they dont want to
*once made a decision, people rarely recind
*some people know nothing, not even the limitless bounds to their own stupidity
* using big words doesnt make you seem smart if you dont know what they mean
*I will always get lost when going somewhere new, or far away.
*I dont care how good your directions are, theyre wrong
*23 years in the industry just means your in a rut, not an expert
*i need a haircut
*when the same things keep happening to you, and your the only constant, its YOU whos the fuckup, not everyone else.
*dont mess with me this week. im worn out. & im not holding anything more back, or wasting energy on being polite to people who dont return the favour.
*some people think they have problems. that they have things tough. that they should be cut slack because they are so hard done by. to them i ask, wanna swap?

coz its funny, but every one who has bitched to me about their hard times at the moment get the same look on their face when the idea of dealing with my crap is foisted upon them.

Im not saying your shit is nothing. Im not saying my shit is worse. Im saying dont try making out to me that I should cut you slack when you dont give me any, and dont try telling me how hard your life is, unless your prepared to swap. Because if youd rather keep yours, then it cant be that bad. I dont bring my crap up, that was you, every time. You tried to turn it into a competition and you lost.

so shut the fuck up.