Archive for the ‘Friends’ category

I found it

January 31, 2007

I have been sent countless emails with links to the “lebo thugz” video on youtube (yes the one on the news) and numerous other ones that are similar. Mostly from my lebo friends.

However, today, I got one with a “response” clip attached. Funny how its my skip friends who are circulating these. lol

Im thinking its the best one ive got so far. Let me know if you have a better one.

So, lebo thugz, where the bloody hell are you?

(thankyou to the imbicile who txtd me to say “pack raping lara bingle – explains why noones heard from her in a while” your a goose!)

Advertisements

Fuckers Are Messing With Me

January 30, 2007

So welcome to my 3 new arrivals to the blog. That I know in real life. Two I helped, one found it herself (little miss smarty pants).

Thankyou Dickhead for pointing out the error in my last post. And thankyou for lying to me just to see my reaction. And please kindly tell me next time it IS your finger in my ass and you choose to “just see what youd do” when you dont admit it. You. Sick. Fucker.

Can the person who said they cried twice in one night reading my blog please not? Its not that bad, surely? No seriously, what I wrote about you was not supposed to do that. And either was the bit about dying. Im here now, lets just enjoy that, and worry about the rest later, mkay?

And as for the one who said he sat there crying like a bitch – suck it up baby and get me my coffee! Cmon, the only thing you like more than my sexy arse is my smart arse!

That new ad with Sigrid freaking thornton? Whom i hate? Your WRONG biatch. Most Smoking related illnesses are NOT slow and painful ways to die! Its freaking FAST! Didnt you read my “facts” post? Theres something thats NOT “whats good for you”. Fuck off. You Suck.

What the fuck is this new andrew okeefe show? Rich List? This has apparently been on before? Shows i dont watch much tv, hey. What I want to know is, if those 2 guys have supposedly never met before, why do they dress in tandem? And how flamingly gay is the skinny one? And how weird are his eyebrows? And does he get his make up done by bert newtons makeup artist? And if so, why? Actually, WHY is a very apt question to ask about the entire show. I dont get it. I know i didnt watch much, but still. And why is the skinny guy trying to jump n hump the fat one all the time? I didnt hink even gay men liked strange men jumping all over them. Particularly ones with bert newton makeup on. On national tv.

96.1fm i love you but that K-Sera girl fucking pisses me off. Stop talking about your “home boys” and your “peeps”. You sound like a fuckwit. And interviewing and editorialising are two COMPLETELY different things. Look one up. Id suggest looking them both up but im not sure you can spell. You make me cringe. I get gangsta speak. I like rnb, hip hop and rap. i like crunk. i know who tupac and biggie et al are (and am aware of the hilarity of using et al in that sentence). I know you do. But you sound as try hard and ridiculous as those callers “giving a shout out to all the 2142 boyz, representin it yo!” K-Sera, i may be wrong, but behind all that “frontin” and “representin” you do, you can construct a coherant sentence. You can use words that arent monosyllibic. I think you may have gone to school. Uni even. So please, your not fooling anyone. You arent black, your not from detroit, and you arent tough. In fact, when I hear you speak, i get visions of you holding something small, cute, and fluffy. And liking it.

Im in a weird place. Stuff is happening. And not happening. And my brain wont think, the fucker. Id give alot just to be able to think again. I dont like not being smart. I know many of you wouldnt believe it, but im actually clever-like.

Well.

I was.

Cancers a cunt.

and normally i dont even use that word.

on a side note, the arabic seems to suddenly be sinking in. weird.

maybe it was all those fucking UBER hot lebbos I was hanging out with on sunday morning. phwoar! i mentioned my little addiction to dickhead, and how hot those arabs are, and all he did was laugh. the little fucker didnt even offer himself up for me to satiate myself with. damn. damn his frustratingness. damn their hotness. and by that i mean GOD DAMN!!!! lol. those lips, those eyes, those muscles, those accents, that confidence……

ehem

yes mr-you-know-who-you-are, i do remember your saying. this leb constantly tells me that i dont know how hard it is being a leb, having to film it everytime he fucks, so that at the end of it he can share it with his mates…….. a copy for each defence lawyer.

Ok, But What About Today?

October 16, 2006

So this morning I woke up grumpy. Thanks to Dickhead. sigh. And although a friend of mine was coming down from Katoomba to see me, one I hadnt seen in quite a while, and I was looking forward to it, the visit was tarnished before it even happened, because one of the things we were going to be doing while she was down here was designing his website, and true to form, Dickhead had left everyhting to the last minute, and had run out of time to go over everything before she got here. So it was all down to me. Sure, great, fine, its not like I have anything else to worry about, is it?

Add to that the fact that the doctors were just teasing me, and it seems tomorrow wont be the last day of their torture after all. sigh. fuckers. I wanna go home.

My gf came down and we had a great visit. She stayed much longer than she planned, and we giggled so much my beepy machine went of twice. Im talking about the beepy machine that makes the nurses come running from everywhere when it goes off coz they understand beep-speak, and its saying “hurry up you dumb slut, shes gunna die”. Either they think im just too cute to die yet, or they get just as pissed off with its shrill interruptions to their sleep as I do, because they drop what their doing and hustle, let me tell ya!

My afternoon was punctuated with conversations with medical proffessionals that I really didnt want to hear. My evening was consumed with conversations about tomorrows funeral that I really dont want to attend, and dont know if Id even be allowed to in my current condition. And Bugalugs didnt come up to see his mummy. Aparently playing in his friends new cubby house was much more fun. So I felt and feel like crap.

But whats making me feel worse, is Dickhead and his being too busy for me. There was a half conversation this morning whilst he was at the airport collecting his brother whos here fore the next couple of days, which means im hardly going to hear from him. One where he promised me something that made me really happy. It was something I took to be a big thing, a good thing. And it influenced a decision Ive been pondering for a while now. A decision about something Dickhead has been asking me to make. Wanting me to make. And Ive been getting close to saying yes. And its nothing to do with his business, but I guess that might be affected by it. But just as I was getting closer to agreeing to what he had asked me to, he said something that made me baulk. Big time.

Bugalugs is my life. Fact. Dickhead knows this, and never expects anything less. He would be rather dissappointed in me I think if I even thought about that not being the case. I also have a past that affects how I am now. Fact. Dickhead knows this, but also wants me to get over it. I have a picture of where I want to be this time next year, and further in the future (date yet to be decided). I dont want to make the same mistakes Ive made before. (new ones are so much more exciting). I dont want to get into things I can see a problem with straight up. I also have things that I want RIGHT NOW.

What he said this morning made me slam my brakes on. It was a surprise. I dont know if how I first took it is the stance I will continue to take. I dont know if I took it the way he meant it. Im quite sure he thought it was an innocuous little comment. Well, not to me. To me it raised a HUGE RED FLAG. I had to dip out of our talk time to collect my thoughts (and my stomach from where it had dropped to the floor). He worried, and wanted to know what was wrong, why his comment had made me change so suddenly, why I was acting differently. I couldnt talk. I told him I would later.

Problem is, Im going to bed now, and later still isnt here.

Anyhoo….

October 15, 2006

So a few strange things have happened in the last couple of days. Its making me wonder what the doctors are medicating me with.

Anyhoo…

I was proposed to. NO, seriously. I was asked to be a wife. To give up working and be a kept woman. To move to a seaside town and live in a huge house and be taken care of. And it was a serious proposal. Im not joking. Its just a shame I had to say no.

Anyhoo……

I recieved a rather irate email about the post “Hilariousness Ensues.” It was threatening and derogatory and very strongly worded. Part of it said something about that if i had ever actually MET a muslim i wouldnt be so disrespectful to their religion. So Im guessing the wanker doesnt read me very often, coz its not like ive been partnered with one for the last forever, is it? Nah, course not. And we all know that ive never actually MET Dickhead have I? He’s all a figment of my imagination, hey? And what about Elly? And the Turkish Delight? And the Builder Brothers? And a few others who are yet to appear on here individually instead of as a part of “my Boys”? No, ive never actually met a muslim. And im sorry, but i thought i was jsut saying what another website had said – not coming up with stuff by myself. Silly me. These drugs are apparently better than i thought.

Anyhoo…..

I wore pink today. No the sky isnt falling, although i can see why you would ask. Because the sky falling is much more likely than me ever wearing pink. But there you go. And its girly pink too. and it has pink lace. Only a tiny bit, but its there. Its the first pink thing ive worn since I was 10.

Anyhoo……

One of the guys in here and I have really hit it off. He spent a couple of days back home with his family, and whilst there, sent me a short video message on my phone to say hi and that he missed our chat. In the video he was naked, holding his cock, and blew me a kiss. I kid you not. Some of you may even be lucky enough to get to see it and laugh at it too. Yes, there were closeups, and no, they werent necessary. Although I laughed, nearly snorted coffee out my nose in the process, started slack jawed and bug eyed at the screen in shock, and wondered what the fuck the correct response to that message was, part of my brain was able to get through the shock and function normally, and what that part was saying was PHWAAAARRRRR!!!!  (Fucking hell Im not happy with this fasting thing, that made me HUNGRY….)

Anyhoo……

Shock of shocks, Dickhead finallysaid he was getting rid of that tree for me this week. Hooray! Not only that, but he is lending me his boys for the day to tidy up my yard. Woo Hoo! Because the last thing i wasnt is to go home and find that a bunch of snakes have decided to make my backyard home. So between Dickhead and his boys, the list of things I cant manage for myself might actually get a few things crossed off! I mean Ive only been asking Dickhead and my boys to help me out with these things for, oh, just over 18months! Some have been on the list for over 4 years, but whos counting? Little buggers – they can get me to help them with their stuff, but helping me with mine seems to start with a beer, and end with nothing getting done. So this time, im hiding all the brewski’s till AFTER the shits been done. FACT.

Anyhoo….

I have alot on my mind, and alot on my plate. And hospital things have been turned up to 11, because im trying hard as I can to be done by sunday which is Bugalugs’ Birthday. The Tuesday after is the end of ramadan, so I want to be able to get one of Dickheads big hugs without dying (he wraps me in his arms and holds me so tightly I cant get a breath in to fill my lungs – and I love it) because after a month without them, which just happens to coincide with a month of being in hospital, a hug is first on the order of business if you ask me. Then I just wanna kiss him. Then Im not telling you what I want to do next!

Anyhoo…..

Why Am I Blogging Right Now?

October 9, 2006

Because I dont feel like facing people to say this, and I know it will get around fast enough by putting it here. Dickhead already knows, as does Min, both of these I told myself, them being the most important people to me right now (besides Bugalugs of course who doesnt need to know anything until it cant be avoided)

In less than an hour now, I will get results back from my specialist (you dont like me calling him that, YOU try spelling his title correctly). If the beefed up plan of attack isnt working, there isnt really much else to do. And Ive already decided that if this is the case, Im going home. Id rather spend what little time remains in my own freaking bed than here.

On the other hand, if it IS killing the little fuckers, then I will be staying here, and its the first time Im actually wanting to stay. Obviously. The issue then will become how much longer to continue. When is the point where theyve killed enough of the bad bits, yet left enough good ones alive to pick up the peices & start the rebuilding?

And of course, once that decision is made, its all crossing of fingers and toes that the good workers arent too fucked over by the new IR laws, and will put their backs into it and get this new development underway.

Mins reaction to this news was predictable.

Dickheads reaction was not.

Mine? I’ll wait till after I hear it & know what it is I have to react to.

But that call this morning would have been good, had I got it.

Oh yeah, a big bunch of good wishes are owed to Dickhead, who started the next phase of his business this morning. xoxo

Trying Very Hard To Post

October 5, 2006

But its hard. It isnt normally. As you can tell by the shithouse standard of writing displayed on this site, I usually sit down, log on & tap away for 5 – 10 minutes, and press ‘publish’. Its that simple. I really do use this blog to empty my head. And right now my head is a mess. I know, I know, it usually is. But now its more so. Its like Im in thick fog. I cant seem to focus. I cant concentrate. I cant manage a coherant train of thought. Its most disconcerting. Although friends will tell you I often dont make sense when Im speaking to them, I always make sense to myself. Not right now though. Half way through a sentence I get brain freeze and forget what I was saying. Its frustrating. At the moment things in here are not going so well. Therapy has been stepped up. Aparently me going all aggressive at the doctors saying I didnt want to stay in their poxy establishment until the end of time seems to have offended the sadistic little fuckers, and their getting me back, and how! Its painful, and its exhausting. Its stressful and makes me sick. I also spend hours and hours in bed, which is even worse because theres no playing up……. So a few brief notes on what im up to, hopefully it will inspire me to write properly later. If not, it will at least serve as a memory jogger. And if I know anything about anyone, a bit of a conversation starter too. Look out email account, its gunna get hot! *checks her phone batteries are charged* *********************************EDIT********************************* STUPID FUCKING RETARDED FUCKING WANKER FUCKING WORDPRESS FUCKING GREMLINS FUCKING ATE THE FUCKING REST OF MY FUCKING POST THE FUCKING FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!

and im too frikken tired to redo it. i did it all too. properly even. and it was good. just for once. fucking fuck fuckers.

Friday (gotten around to posting on Monday – shaddup!)

October 2, 2006

Bugalugs finally got an award at school. Hooray!

Considering this is a kid who just a couple of months ago was about to be suspended (in KINDERGARTEN I tells ya, WTF?)

So at the beginning of the week I receieved a letter from his teacher inviting me to attend the school assembly to watch. I cant tell you how good it was to be asked to go up to the school for THAT instead of meetings with the principal!

So I asked my mum if she could make it. Apparently it just wasnt interesting enough, and her response was that she didnt think she could make it & would let me know. If I sound a bit bitchy here, perhaps its coz my mum lives about 8 houses from the school, doesnt work, and has no kids at home either. So please forgive me for being more than slightly pissed off that she needed to consult her busy schedule of daytime soapies for her only grandson.

I also called Dickhead, because I knew Bugalugs would like it, and his teacher had even mentioned that it would be good if Dickhead could make it, that it would mean alot to Bugalugs. I can only assume Bugalugs has been crapping on at school about him. Actually bugalugs is quite enamoured with Dickhead. Go figure. Dickhead not surprisingly said he couldnt make it – working. Sigh.

So Friday came around and I rearranged appointments and ran out of hospital. I visited a gf with her young baby at home whilst I waited for the assembly time to roll around (never one to waste an opportunity, me) & whilst there, Dickhead decided he was able to move things around enough to come up.

Well fuck me, hey!

Being as much like me as he is, and a typical leb, he just had to get everything out of it he could, and so I helped arrange for some shit to be done to one of his cars by the ever obliging Keefer. (MrB previously, but fuck it, Im using normal real life nicknames now. Im lazy, bite me.) Keefer of the “wholesale cost is $296. Nah, I can do better than that for ya!” See, no wonder Dickhead likes him.

So Dickhead collected me from Min’s place, and I drove his car to Keefer to feel whats wrong with it. God. Thats 2 cars of his that I dont like. At least this one isnt nicknamed “the bitch”. Well, it got that name for electrocuting me, the bitch! We dropped the car off, and Dickhead drove us to Bugalugs’ thing.

Poor bastard! No sooner did we get there, but the assembly was being held outdoors in the sun, and whos waving to us with seats saved? Thats right, my MUM.

Bwah hah hah hah hah!

Thats both my parents Dickhead has met now, and both have been unplanned. The poor thing! Of course having her waving at us I couldnt pretend we hadnt seen her, so over we went. Well he may be fasting and feeling crap, but it was me who kept falling asleep. What is it with sun and a seat, and a woman who despite having a speach in front of her has to use the word “um” every 3 words that sends you to nigh nigh land? Poor Dickhead had to keep poking me to wake me up!

Eventually after much other bullshit, Bugalugs got up to get his certificate, and his mum sure was proud. Just for once it wasnt me making a huge scene in public, but my mum who clapped and hollered even though we were meant to wait till the all the recipients were up there. Speculate all you want as to whether I was trying to remain composed somewhat like a normal human in Dickheads presence, but actually I was a bit upset that I just didnt have it in me. Otherwise the bogan westie holla back girl in me would have been on sho fo sho, mo fo’s!

Believe me, inside I was all whooping it up.

Afterwards Dickheads car wasnt ready yet, so we headed to the local shopping centre to waste some time until it was. And every few minutes I had to stop and rest. It was embarressing much. Usually we stop for him to rest his leg, but nup, this time it was all me. It was shocking. I can tell you he really knew I was ill when we walked into one of those discount perfume stores (he smells as good as I do – were a match made in sweet smelling heaven) and I lasted all of 30 secionds before having to walk straight back out. I couldnt breathe. It hurt. It was AWFUL. I coughed. I struggled for breath. I leant against the ballastrade trying to recompose myself. I ended up having to walk into the shop next door and dose up on my inhaler. I hid it from him, yes. I didnt want him to know just how completely fucked I was. The entire trip to the shops was exhausting me completely. I just didnt want to scare him, and I knew it wouldnt be long before Keefer rang to say his car was ready. Im not liking this ramadan thing. Again. Coffee dates make it so much easier to hide how ill I am.

Actually Im not so sure if thats true. I thought Id been hiding it well, but the last few coffee dates we had had he mentioned recently that he had seen me struggling to stand afterwards and get back to my car. I thought Id hidden it, but hed seen me have to sit back down again to get my breath, and make more than one stop on the short walk back to the carpark. It worries me that he sees this. I hate thinking that Im worrying him or scaring him. And in a way, not having people know means it doesnt feel anywhere near as real. So I dont have to deal. Not so much, anyway.

So standing there catching my breath, the bastard notices I have a grey hair. And pulls it out to show me. So much for me laughing at him for being old. Im 26, hes 35. When he doesnt shave, he has plenty of grey hairs in his beard. Hes got a few on his head too, but he keeps his hair cut so short its hard to notice. We have a standing joke about when I’ll have to dump him. Min and I discussed it, along with input from her 40yr old brother, and it was decided that when his balls are saggy, its time to go. No eviction party, just trade him in on a newer model. His response was that he just wouldnt let me play with them anymore so that they stayed in mint condition, but, well, what guy could ever stick to that, huh?

So after berating me about being 26 and having grey hairs….. and just what does he expect, im with him, arent i? And I hang around mostly guys. Of course being around men all the time is going to stress me! We collected his car, and off he went back to work. To which I promptly headed off to see Llama about a couple of things, forgetting about an appointment for treatment and sending the entire Honey Friend Clan into a tizzy. I got there in time. Just. All I can say is thank goodness I put it in my PDA with a reminder alarm! So I guess IM not so teknikmalogikally challenged after all?

So whats the moral to this story? I guess delinquent children still have goodness in them that others besides their mothers can see. Dickheads will sometimes pull out the stops and blow your mind. My mother is still completely fucked in the head & not to be trusted. School Assemblies are still boring. Perfume stores are not places to go if you like air. Keefer is the king of discounts & sourcing parts. And hospitals suck even more when your trying to get there in a hurry. But mostly, my son is a champion and I love him.

Go Bugalugs! w00t!! w00t!!