Archive for the ‘Teh Interwebs’ category

Bloggy Suggestions & Conversations With Dickhead

February 26, 2007

So someone suggested they join Dickhead and I for a threesome. I talked to him about it. He reacted as men do when confronted with other men showing an interest in them. Lets say less than impressed. HA HA HA HA

Someone suggested I spill all about the last threesome. I talked to him about it. Just for once he WASNT against me spilling all our private shit on teh interwebs. So look forward to a DETAILED account. HA HA HA HA (So babe, do i include measurements with these descriptions? tee hee hee! How about photos?)

Someone suggested I post a photo of my tits on teh interwebs on my birthday. I talked to him about it. He laughed. I asked if he would be shocked if I did. He said not really. Since teh hawtness of my chesticles is soon to be lost forever, you may just get your wish. (somebody check on surfer, he’s likely to be having palpitations!)

So Cheeky Miss who is currently the object of my desire has a man. A man who doesnt know she plays with MY man as well as me. (to each their own. im usually not ok with it, but hell, shes a grown up, and i dont have that long to be so god damned prudish) He wants to see his missus with her girlfriend. Imagine the odd conversation with Dickhead….

Me: “So babe, (insert back story) and she was wondering if I would let her make a video call to him so he could watch us kiss”
DH: “….okaaaaaayyyy?”
Me: “But I thought Id check how you felt first”
DH: “pffft. I get to be there AND join in. What do I care?”

Sigh. Dickhead. He’s such a……… MAN.

So following on from that, turns out he had a conversation with his business partner the other day. Old Yeller (as we shall now call him, although he isnt actually a Golden Retriever) is lovely. He is learning to speak english so i cant really have a conversation with him (Bugalugs says he doesnt know how to talk properly yet) but he is one of those peole you meet and instantly like. The way he learnt to say “Hello Honey” is GORGEOUS. His pronunciation makes you go all warm and fuzzy. Its just so cute! He also tells Dickhead that he doesnt know how I put up with him LOL. Gotta love a man like that. He also says Dickhead is crazy. Cant argue there. There was also a time where I was particularly horny and Dickhead was 10 minutes down the road from my house on a jobsite, and I was sending him text messages telling him how I thought he should ditch Old Yeller and the boys, and come over, that i wanted to suck him off so badly….etc etc etc. When he said he couldnt because Old Yeller was in the car with him, I suggested he make Old Yeller catch a cab. Apparently Dickhead laughed so much at my obvious desire and persistance (nevermind smuttyness) that he had to explain why he was laughing so hard. Old Yeller told Dickhead to drop HIM off here instead! LOL. 

So anyhoo…. When Cheeky Miss and I had discussed the possibility of her coming to see me today (she lives an hr & a half away) he told Old Yeller that he might not be able to work on Monday. Then he told him that his missus is Bi, and her girlfriend might be coming over for the day….. What a fucking conversation to have with your business partner huh? Poor Old Yeller. I think he had a heart attack. He wasnt impressed. LOL. What can I say? Honey is a kick arse wife!

So anyhoo…… point was that today he asked if i was ok with him taking a photo (nothing TOO revealing) to show Old Yeller. Just to piss him off. LOL. Dickhead is such a stirrer. God love him. Of course I said ok. Who knows, maybe that will end up here too one day.

Lord knows theres enough nekkid shots of me floating around on teh interwebs etc pre-Bugalugs (ir when honey was an uber hot 18yr old young thing). Whats another one or two?

Poor Dickhead is practically falling over himself right now. A lesbian friend of mine who ive played around with a few times before wants to see what a real live (warm, bloodfilled) cock is like. This from a girl who wont even buy an authentic looking dildo for fucks sake! She has decided (knowing that I let DH play sometimes) that DH is a trustworthy, considerate man, and that she would possibly like to try him out. (coz my man is just like a pair of Ferragamo’s – lustworthy and precious, but still a possibility to borrow off a close friend). She asked if she can come see me, and have Dickhead there too. Hmmm. A threesome with your missus who is 13yrs your junior, and a full on lesbian wanting to try cock for the first time. Can you imagine whats running through his head right now? Poor baby. He must be ready to explode (pun intended – show me a guy that wouldnt go hard at the thought of being faced with that prospect)

Dickhead and I had a long conversation over lunch and coffee today. An important one. One that we have had a million times before.Some of what I took from it was really good. There was nothing particularly bad. A tiny hiccup that bothered me but I soon realised I was being silly. The fact that I thought it at all though doesnt bode well. Mostly it was stuff that had been said, and said, and said before. Its a delicate subject. And a difficult one. One that both of us feel so strongly about, that its hard to see past our own crap and understand the other’s.

Yes I have given in. Yes I did allow hi to win it. To have it his way. Because I have fought this battle for over a year, and not gained a millimetre let alone an inch. I have 3 weeks left with him. Much of what Im doing is giving in. Why? Because. Because I made a decision. Because I would rather enjoy what I can out of those 3 weeks, than leave him and have nothing more. Sure, Im not getting everything I want, but Im getting something. And to me, Id rather something than nothing. At least on this issue. If things werent the way they are, Id make a totally different decision. But they ARE how they are. Yes Im taking the easy way out. Because the hard (yet correct) path to take means no-one wins. No-one gets anything at all, except a bunch of hurt and regret.

Two things I simply do not have time for.

Advertisements

I found it

January 31, 2007

I have been sent countless emails with links to the “lebo thugz” video on youtube (yes the one on the news) and numerous other ones that are similar. Mostly from my lebo friends.

However, today, I got one with a “response” clip attached. Funny how its my skip friends who are circulating these. lol

Im thinking its the best one ive got so far. Let me know if you have a better one.

So, lebo thugz, where the bloody hell are you?

(thankyou to the imbicile who txtd me to say “pack raping lara bingle – explains why noones heard from her in a while” your a goose!)

Fuckers Are Messing With Me

January 30, 2007

So welcome to my 3 new arrivals to the blog. That I know in real life. Two I helped, one found it herself (little miss smarty pants).

Thankyou Dickhead for pointing out the error in my last post. And thankyou for lying to me just to see my reaction. And please kindly tell me next time it IS your finger in my ass and you choose to “just see what youd do” when you dont admit it. You. Sick. Fucker.

Can the person who said they cried twice in one night reading my blog please not? Its not that bad, surely? No seriously, what I wrote about you was not supposed to do that. And either was the bit about dying. Im here now, lets just enjoy that, and worry about the rest later, mkay?

And as for the one who said he sat there crying like a bitch – suck it up baby and get me my coffee! Cmon, the only thing you like more than my sexy arse is my smart arse!

That new ad with Sigrid freaking thornton? Whom i hate? Your WRONG biatch. Most Smoking related illnesses are NOT slow and painful ways to die! Its freaking FAST! Didnt you read my “facts” post? Theres something thats NOT “whats good for you”. Fuck off. You Suck.

What the fuck is this new andrew okeefe show? Rich List? This has apparently been on before? Shows i dont watch much tv, hey. What I want to know is, if those 2 guys have supposedly never met before, why do they dress in tandem? And how flamingly gay is the skinny one? And how weird are his eyebrows? And does he get his make up done by bert newtons makeup artist? And if so, why? Actually, WHY is a very apt question to ask about the entire show. I dont get it. I know i didnt watch much, but still. And why is the skinny guy trying to jump n hump the fat one all the time? I didnt hink even gay men liked strange men jumping all over them. Particularly ones with bert newton makeup on. On national tv.

96.1fm i love you but that K-Sera girl fucking pisses me off. Stop talking about your “home boys” and your “peeps”. You sound like a fuckwit. And interviewing and editorialising are two COMPLETELY different things. Look one up. Id suggest looking them both up but im not sure you can spell. You make me cringe. I get gangsta speak. I like rnb, hip hop and rap. i like crunk. i know who tupac and biggie et al are (and am aware of the hilarity of using et al in that sentence). I know you do. But you sound as try hard and ridiculous as those callers “giving a shout out to all the 2142 boyz, representin it yo!” K-Sera, i may be wrong, but behind all that “frontin” and “representin” you do, you can construct a coherant sentence. You can use words that arent monosyllibic. I think you may have gone to school. Uni even. So please, your not fooling anyone. You arent black, your not from detroit, and you arent tough. In fact, when I hear you speak, i get visions of you holding something small, cute, and fluffy. And liking it.

Im in a weird place. Stuff is happening. And not happening. And my brain wont think, the fucker. Id give alot just to be able to think again. I dont like not being smart. I know many of you wouldnt believe it, but im actually clever-like.

Well.

I was.

Cancers a cunt.

and normally i dont even use that word.

on a side note, the arabic seems to suddenly be sinking in. weird.

maybe it was all those fucking UBER hot lebbos I was hanging out with on sunday morning. phwoar! i mentioned my little addiction to dickhead, and how hot those arabs are, and all he did was laugh. the little fucker didnt even offer himself up for me to satiate myself with. damn. damn his frustratingness. damn their hotness. and by that i mean GOD DAMN!!!! lol. those lips, those eyes, those muscles, those accents, that confidence……

ehem

yes mr-you-know-who-you-are, i do remember your saying. this leb constantly tells me that i dont know how hard it is being a leb, having to film it everytime he fucks, so that at the end of it he can share it with his mates…….. a copy for each defence lawyer.

Please! Wont somebody think of the children?

January 12, 2007

THIS guy did. Thank the lord. sigh. religious people are so amusing sometimes.

I actually found out about this guy from another wordpress blog, but i have forgotten who it was. If its you and you managed to stumble accross this post, leave a link – you were a funny bastard!

Anyhoo….

October 15, 2006

So a few strange things have happened in the last couple of days. Its making me wonder what the doctors are medicating me with.

Anyhoo…

I was proposed to. NO, seriously. I was asked to be a wife. To give up working and be a kept woman. To move to a seaside town and live in a huge house and be taken care of. And it was a serious proposal. Im not joking. Its just a shame I had to say no.

Anyhoo……

I recieved a rather irate email about the post “Hilariousness Ensues.” It was threatening and derogatory and very strongly worded. Part of it said something about that if i had ever actually MET a muslim i wouldnt be so disrespectful to their religion. So Im guessing the wanker doesnt read me very often, coz its not like ive been partnered with one for the last forever, is it? Nah, course not. And we all know that ive never actually MET Dickhead have I? He’s all a figment of my imagination, hey? And what about Elly? And the Turkish Delight? And the Builder Brothers? And a few others who are yet to appear on here individually instead of as a part of “my Boys”? No, ive never actually met a muslim. And im sorry, but i thought i was jsut saying what another website had said – not coming up with stuff by myself. Silly me. These drugs are apparently better than i thought.

Anyhoo…..

I wore pink today. No the sky isnt falling, although i can see why you would ask. Because the sky falling is much more likely than me ever wearing pink. But there you go. And its girly pink too. and it has pink lace. Only a tiny bit, but its there. Its the first pink thing ive worn since I was 10.

Anyhoo……

One of the guys in here and I have really hit it off. He spent a couple of days back home with his family, and whilst there, sent me a short video message on my phone to say hi and that he missed our chat. In the video he was naked, holding his cock, and blew me a kiss. I kid you not. Some of you may even be lucky enough to get to see it and laugh at it too. Yes, there were closeups, and no, they werent necessary. Although I laughed, nearly snorted coffee out my nose in the process, started slack jawed and bug eyed at the screen in shock, and wondered what the fuck the correct response to that message was, part of my brain was able to get through the shock and function normally, and what that part was saying was PHWAAAARRRRR!!!!  (Fucking hell Im not happy with this fasting thing, that made me HUNGRY….)

Anyhoo……

Shock of shocks, Dickhead finallysaid he was getting rid of that tree for me this week. Hooray! Not only that, but he is lending me his boys for the day to tidy up my yard. Woo Hoo! Because the last thing i wasnt is to go home and find that a bunch of snakes have decided to make my backyard home. So between Dickhead and his boys, the list of things I cant manage for myself might actually get a few things crossed off! I mean Ive only been asking Dickhead and my boys to help me out with these things for, oh, just over 18months! Some have been on the list for over 4 years, but whos counting? Little buggers – they can get me to help them with their stuff, but helping me with mine seems to start with a beer, and end with nothing getting done. So this time, im hiding all the brewski’s till AFTER the shits been done. FACT.

Anyhoo….

I have alot on my mind, and alot on my plate. And hospital things have been turned up to 11, because im trying hard as I can to be done by sunday which is Bugalugs’ Birthday. The Tuesday after is the end of ramadan, so I want to be able to get one of Dickheads big hugs without dying (he wraps me in his arms and holds me so tightly I cant get a breath in to fill my lungs – and I love it) because after a month without them, which just happens to coincide with a month of being in hospital, a hug is first on the order of business if you ask me. Then I just wanna kiss him. Then Im not telling you what I want to do next!

Anyhoo…..

Hilariousness Ensues

October 12, 2006

And I havent even been drinking.

Earlier, I was continuing my timely attempt at learning more from the Qur’an & the Torah, when I turned to teh interwebs to look something up…..

I never would have guessed it but yes, there it was in black and white, they were using EMINEM to explain Islam. What. The. Fuck? I submit the following:

EMINEM: “Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?”

ISLAMIC PROMOTIONAL WEBSITE: “Will the real Al Aqsa please stand up?”

Evidence HERE.

ALLAH’s WHACK Y’ALL!    WORD!

le sigh

NB: It is also a trip to bizzarro world to be simultaneously reading about moses/mohammad/my guaranteed one way trip to purgatory in EVERY religion there is, as well as the latest peice of lesbian erotica as penned by my girlfriend.

Post Script #1

My girlfriend has been published a few times. Shes rather good. Shes also A lesbian, yes, hense the lesbian theme of her work – she writes what she knows.

Post Script #2

I needed something uplifting. My blog (like my RL) has been far too depressing of late.

Post Script #3

No I will not elaborate on the context of my use of the word “girlfriend” in this post. You’ll all just use your imaginations and make it dirty, whether it is or not!

I just……

October 10, 2006

wrote a whole heap that was really REALLY good.

and then i fucking deleted it by accident.

im really hating the world right now