Archive for February 2007

Bloggy Suggestions & Conversations With Dickhead

February 26, 2007

So someone suggested they join Dickhead and I for a threesome. I talked to him about it. He reacted as men do when confronted with other men showing an interest in them. Lets say less than impressed. HA HA HA HA

Someone suggested I spill all about the last threesome. I talked to him about it. Just for once he WASNT against me spilling all our private shit on teh interwebs. So look forward to a DETAILED account. HA HA HA HA (So babe, do i include measurements with these descriptions? tee hee hee! How about photos?)

Someone suggested I post a photo of my tits on teh interwebs on my birthday. I talked to him about it. He laughed. I asked if he would be shocked if I did. He said not really. Since teh hawtness of my chesticles is soon to be lost forever, you may just get your wish. (somebody check on surfer, he’s likely to be having palpitations!)

So Cheeky Miss who is currently the object of my desire has a man. A man who doesnt know she plays with MY man as well as me. (to each their own. im usually not ok with it, but hell, shes a grown up, and i dont have that long to be so god damned prudish) He wants to see his missus with her girlfriend. Imagine the odd conversation with Dickhead….

Me: “So babe, (insert back story) and she was wondering if I would let her make a video call to him so he could watch us kiss”
DH: “….okaaaaaayyyy?”
Me: “But I thought Id check how you felt first”
DH: “pffft. I get to be there AND join in. What do I care?”

Sigh. Dickhead. He’s such a……… MAN.

So following on from that, turns out he had a conversation with his business partner the other day. Old Yeller (as we shall now call him, although he isnt actually a Golden Retriever) is lovely. He is learning to speak english so i cant really have a conversation with him (Bugalugs says he doesnt know how to talk properly yet) but he is one of those peole you meet and instantly like. The way he learnt to say “Hello Honey” is GORGEOUS. His pronunciation makes you go all warm and fuzzy. Its just so cute! He also tells Dickhead that he doesnt know how I put up with him LOL. Gotta love a man like that. He also says Dickhead is crazy. Cant argue there. There was also a time where I was particularly horny and Dickhead was 10 minutes down the road from my house on a jobsite, and I was sending him text messages telling him how I thought he should ditch Old Yeller and the boys, and come over, that i wanted to suck him off so badly….etc etc etc. When he said he couldnt because Old Yeller was in the car with him, I suggested he make Old Yeller catch a cab. Apparently Dickhead laughed so much at my obvious desire and persistance (nevermind smuttyness) that he had to explain why he was laughing so hard. Old Yeller told Dickhead to drop HIM off here instead! LOL. 

So anyhoo…. When Cheeky Miss and I had discussed the possibility of her coming to see me today (she lives an hr & a half away) he told Old Yeller that he might not be able to work on Monday. Then he told him that his missus is Bi, and her girlfriend might be coming over for the day….. What a fucking conversation to have with your business partner huh? Poor Old Yeller. I think he had a heart attack. He wasnt impressed. LOL. What can I say? Honey is a kick arse wife!

So anyhoo…… point was that today he asked if i was ok with him taking a photo (nothing TOO revealing) to show Old Yeller. Just to piss him off. LOL. Dickhead is such a stirrer. God love him. Of course I said ok. Who knows, maybe that will end up here too one day.

Lord knows theres enough nekkid shots of me floating around on teh interwebs etc pre-Bugalugs (ir when honey was an uber hot 18yr old young thing). Whats another one or two?

Poor Dickhead is practically falling over himself right now. A lesbian friend of mine who ive played around with a few times before wants to see what a real live (warm, bloodfilled) cock is like. This from a girl who wont even buy an authentic looking dildo for fucks sake! She has decided (knowing that I let DH play sometimes) that DH is a trustworthy, considerate man, and that she would possibly like to try him out. (coz my man is just like a pair of Ferragamo’s – lustworthy and precious, but still a possibility to borrow off a close friend). She asked if she can come see me, and have Dickhead there too. Hmmm. A threesome with your missus who is 13yrs your junior, and a full on lesbian wanting to try cock for the first time. Can you imagine whats running through his head right now? Poor baby. He must be ready to explode (pun intended – show me a guy that wouldnt go hard at the thought of being faced with that prospect)

Dickhead and I had a long conversation over lunch and coffee today. An important one. One that we have had a million times before.Some of what I took from it was really good. There was nothing particularly bad. A tiny hiccup that bothered me but I soon realised I was being silly. The fact that I thought it at all though doesnt bode well. Mostly it was stuff that had been said, and said, and said before. Its a delicate subject. And a difficult one. One that both of us feel so strongly about, that its hard to see past our own crap and understand the other’s.

Yes I have given in. Yes I did allow hi to win it. To have it his way. Because I have fought this battle for over a year, and not gained a millimetre let alone an inch. I have 3 weeks left with him. Much of what Im doing is giving in. Why? Because. Because I made a decision. Because I would rather enjoy what I can out of those 3 weeks, than leave him and have nothing more. Sure, Im not getting everything I want, but Im getting something. And to me, Id rather something than nothing. At least on this issue. If things werent the way they are, Id make a totally different decision. But they ARE how they are. Yes Im taking the easy way out. Because the hard (yet correct) path to take means no-one wins. No-one gets anything at all, except a bunch of hurt and regret.

Two things I simply do not have time for.

The Countdown Mark II

February 25, 2007

My Birthday: 6 Days

Dickhead Leaving: 18 Days

Bits n Pieces

February 25, 2007

diAfter a particularly annoying argument with Dickhead last week, I got so riled up that I threw my $1400 PDA against the wall. And broke it. Beyond repair. Yes it made me feel better. No the argument wasnt resolved, still isnt. Yes I do know how stupid I am. But how good is Ebay? $250 to replace it. Legend much, me.

I bought 3 new pairs of shoes last week. I hadnt worn them yet. Cheeky Miss, the object of my recent lust (and last saturdays threesome buddy) came over, saw them, and drooled. What can I say, she has good taste! (well shes shagging me so she must lol). It took Bugalugs less than 24hrs to draw all over them with permanent marker. Cork bases and permanent marker in assorted colours does NOT a good couple make. He is VERY lucky that I let him live.

Diana Ferrari had a sale. Le Sigh.

I tinted the windows on my new car. That shiny reflective silver tint. It reflects my green paint. Its very purdy. But not quite as purdy as Dickheads. I kicked arse on the tint I chose for that. It is HOT. His car is very recognisable now. If only hed book his car in to get the rims I bought for him put on. I cant wait to see it. Its all paid for, and hes being a slow poke! For once its ME whos chomping at the bit! lol

I may have decided on the rims for mine. Only a handful of wheels fit my car, and most are awful. The rest are imports and expensive. And mostly awful. However there are some purdy little MKWs (12’s for those playing at home) that I think are purdy. 17’s I think, but Im not 100% sure. Sigh. Can never make up my mind.

Honey why are you doing up your car? Because I can. I like it. I think its purdy. And soon it will be shiny and purdy. Well, more shiny and more purdy. And we all know i like shiny things. lol

Dickhead doesnt know why Im still going to work. Most my clients have been set up with a replacement. The ones I care about (only 2 of them) I still go in and see. He says I should fuck work off completely. I know where he is coming from. But. Sometimes I like it. Sometimes I like pretending things are normal, that its not as fucked up as it is. Sometimes I like not thinking about myself and my shit. Accounting is something where you use your brain. And when Im using it to work, im not using it to think, or feel. And it makes me feel smart. Ive gotten so dumb these past few weeks, with my mind not working, its nice to feel like the real me sometimes. Im a clever girl. I dont like feeling stupid. And being there, working, thinking…… its a distraction from the rest.

Dickhead finally took me to see Blood Diamond on Friday. Ive been harrassing him for that for ages. He asked whether I liked it. I did and I didnt. It was very africa. And part of the movie i will have to google, because I do believe that one scene was filmed on a location about 50kms away from where my family lives. Seeing as alot was nth africa, some was different, but really, africa is africa. We have mountains like that at home, its just the view from ours is a bit greener. The violent scenes are ones every african knows all too well. As i explained to Dickhead, the things portrayed and alluded to where actually pretty tame. When I related the sort of shit that went down at home a few yrs ago, he was shocked. Actually, the things I have personally seen, and had related to me by family and friends that they have seen irst hand (as opposed to urban legends or he said/she said stuff) meant that partway through I had to stop watching. I actually turned to him at one point and said i wasnt sure how much more I could watch. I sat it out though.

The movie was mostly good. It did a good job illustrating a few things. Maybe viewers didnt get it all. I dont know. I know I did, but I understand. Thats not to say that those who dont are fools. Theres alot of pain in the world. No-one can be expected to be knowledgeable in all of it. If you were, I think it would send you mad. 

Leo did a piss poor job of an accent. And the Afrikaaner words he dropped here and there? pfft. Leo, take your money and go buy your woman something lekker, hey bru?

There were a couple of lines used in the movie that Ive had people speak to me about. “This is Afrika” is one, and yes, things in africa are different. Even without seeing the movie I was able to agree and explain that one. Africa marches to the beat of her own drum. Things back home work a totally different way to here. Fighting that will get you nowhere. Africa will always win. Things are always done her way. You cannot beat her. The sooner you realise this the easier things will be for you. Sometimes its a good thing, sometimes the african way is better. Most times its not. But its africa.

When talking about the colour of the soil, that Archer will never leave, there is a saying, but its not quite how the colonel put it. Africa’s soil is red, red with the blood spilt over her. Hearts and bodies bleed over her. Every africans heart and body has bled. And will continue to. Something I said to Aurs, which he commented a little while ago that he had seen validated by others who had never heard me say it, is that you never leave africa. Even if you jump on a plane and come over here, even if you only went there to visit, once you have seen her, you take a part of her with you in your heart forever more. It truly is like going home. You feel her. You belong.

They say human life was born in africa. They say she is the motherland. They say you can never leave.

They are all right.

What really worried me though, was the scenes of civil war near the end. Of rebel forces driving through the streets mowing people down. Sth Africa has problems. Big ones. Men walk through the streets with guns now. Gangs of youths armed to the teeth do as they please with noone to stop them. Our police and armed forces are corrupt, and most will take a bribe from one side and look the other way….. straight into the outstretched hand of the other side offering another bribe to do the same. Things are not working. The country is falling apart. Right now, the smaller factions are all too small and self absorbed to do too much. Their satisfied witht heir lot. But one day, one of these will look up, see what more there is, and realise they have a chance to have it. One group will realise that they can join with another and REALLY have some power. And god help us then.

Oh and Leo, when you told the story of your mothers rape and murder, and fathers decapitation, all of which you witnessed as a 9yr old boy, and then asked “boo hoo, right?” You were right. Thing is, most south africans, nay, most africans, have a story like that to tell. They dont tell them. Because EVERYONE can match it. Like I said, every africans heart has bled.

Grumpy Old Men

February 23, 2007

Dickhead will absolutely hate this post, but fuck him. Its my blog and Ill say what I want to. Its not like anyone from teh interwebs knows him, and those in real life know anyway.

Dickhead came clean on a porky that he had been telling me. It really upset me, both what the truth was, and that he had lied for so long, especially when he had been given ample opportunities to fess up.

Yesterday was Dickheads birthday. He turned FORTY.

Thats right, Im 26 and porking an old man. Laugh it up. Everyone else is.  35 was bad enough, but the 4 at the front, well, thats a bit much.

Of course Im not shallow enough to leave him over it, but hey, it did take a bit of thinking to get me right with it. It left me in shock when he told me.

So enough already with the “daddy” jokes, i mean, ewww. And Im 27 in a weeks and a bit anyway (how childish does that sound? Who cares, its my last one and ill look forward to it if I want to) And i like HIM, not his date of birth. But 1967 is a very hard thing to write, let me tell you. Good thing arabs age well. And no, his balls arent saggy.  Or wrinkly. YET. And yes he does know i WILL leave him when they are.

So speaking of birthdays, lets just say that I once again am a kick arse wife. He got everything he asked for and then some.

Windows Tinted on his car (spiffy chrome that fades to black, looks awesome! not that boring normal tint)
New Clothes (jeans, shirts, belt…)
New Sunnies (very pretty raybans that make him look hot – defn NOT 40)
Perfume (That lovely new Polo Black – mmmmm)
And I took him to lunch.

Mind you, I also took him home and worked on his books for a bit, got him a majorly kick arse return, and harrassed him to let me suck him off, without asking anything in return.

All in all, he got about a grand dropped on him, got some great oral, a heap of money back from the ato (hes leb, getting cash is better than an orgasm for them) and got to spend the day with me.

What more could an old fart ask for?

Happy Birthday Babe. I still love ya, even if I do have to keep checking to see if your balls are wrinkly.

actually darln, bring them over here and ill check again…. LOL

Motherhood

February 21, 2007

So instead of filling you all in on my threesome on saturday night (hey you only live once, so shut up about my frequent getting freaky – im allowed) I thought Id tell you some snippets of whats been going on with bugalugs.

So either I am the worlds best, or the worlds worst mum according to when you ask him.

See, as many little boys do, (and seeing the stress he is currently under, its certainly understandable) he has been going through a stage of missing the bowl when he goes to the toilet. A few times ive gotten up in the middle of the night, and leaving the light off so as not to wake him, have sat in a puddle. ewww. So morning comes and ive told him off, only to have it happen again. A couple of days ago I wasnt paying attention and did it again in the mid afternoon.

So what do you do when your raising a child Honey-Style? You wash your hands and dont dry them. You walk out to where your little precious is sitting innocently on the lounge watching tv, and tell him off again. Then you wipe your wet hands across his bare skin and face, telling him that you got your OWN wee and thought he might like to have some of yours on him as he seems so fond of having his on you.

Tears and tantrums abound.

Of course I told him oretty quickly what had really happened, but he was still mighty pissed off. My toilet seat however, remains dry. (and it was pretty funny lol sick sadist that i am).

 It was also his first day of footy  training yesterday, which ill come back and blog about shortly. Just this much effort has tired me out. I just wanted you all to know im still here, and still retarded.

I Never……

February 16, 2007

A game that has suddenly taken on whole new meanings.

I really REALLY want to blog.

But I cant.

Some of it is that I dont understand it. Some of it is that I cant get it into words. Some of it is that Im not allowed to.

But the scary part? Some of it Im too embarressed. And its all my fault.

Please Excuse Me

February 11, 2007

Im not dead yet.

Just busy falling to pieces.

Clean up in aisle 3.