Archive for November 2005

amazing

November 30, 2005

things that have amazed me today

1. just how stupid men can be
2. how people only hear what they want to hear
3. how when men listen, all they seem to hear are words
4. just how lomg DOES it take to remember someones name you spoke to 2 hours previously?
5. how pissed off forgetful people can get when you dont find their forgetfullness amusing, but rather disrespectful and unacceptable
6. no matter how often you say something, people wont realise you meant it
7. once you train someone to behave a certain way, its very hard to untrain them
8. no matter how loud you scream, if no one wants to hear it, they wont
9. when people know you well enough, they think they know what your saying and stop listening
10. no matter how well you know someone, they can change their mind, and may just be saying something you need to hear.

So Listen

thats the way it goes

November 30, 2005

so last night i stayed up and had a huge conv with MIN. We PISSED ourselves laughing. Almost literally in some places. GEORGE!!!!!!!! lmfao!!!

also had quite a discussion about DH. Had alot going through my mind after the last talk we had, and so spokme to MIN about alot of it. Mostly just a sounding board kind of thing, but made alot of confusing bits make sense. She also said a few things which i hadnt thought of about me, and she was right. So my little experiment is over. LOL.

whatever. wasnt that much fun to begin with. too much effort, to little reward.

selfish bitches

November 29, 2005

today, i was one of these

fuck it was GOOD!!!!!!!!

I went where i wanted, when i wanted. I left the house when i felt like it. i went home when i felt like it. i saw who i felt like seeing. it was grand.

There were of course a few attempts at destroying my day. and i ignored them. (props to self)

List of things accomplished today: NOTHING

Had coffee with someone (longest coffee in history of the universe but anyhow – as i said, i wasnt on a time frame) at first i kinda wanted his opinion on the situation with the boys (wont THAT piss them off) but 1. he was distracted, and 2. partway through i just thought – fuck it.

Just couldnt be arsed with them any more. which is a worry, coz ive never been like that with them before. Oh well, spose its just coz im SOOOOO fucking pissed off. mind you – it did mean i was strong enough to get all but 1 of those bolts undone myself!!! So not all is lost! hehehe

thats all from me today. i have decided not to rant about men who wont get the hint, 43yr olds who want me to call them daddy while we fuck, (like id fuck them to begin with. ewww) or men in general. why dont girls piss me off like that? oh yeah, coz we dont suck. and when we do its fun.

which reminds me……………LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I quit

November 28, 2005

tired of being the key stone

sick of being a rock

really needed a friend to ask “whats wrong Honey?” just ONCE this past fortnight.

had hoped to lean on someone for a change, instead of having them lean on me

all i want is for someone to show that im important to them. that for a moment i come first in their world.

just sick of all the crap. of being the one everyone calls, but not able to call them back. of putting my stuff last in favour of the sacredness of friendship, and people in need. of all the monodirectional favour-moungoring. of being so freaking nice to people who are assholes the second your back is turned. of giving out second chances like candy.

most of all im tired of knowing whats happening and being unable to change it. because i dont want to stop being me. i give. its what i do. its what makes me, me. its how i cope. by taking care of everyone i can forget about needing to take care of me. i dont want to deal with my shit. its buried for a reason. by dealing with yours i can avoid it a bit longer. i just think that its finally reaching the point where someone needs to start taking care of me and mine. because to be totally, soul baringly honest – im too scared to. and since the soul is being bared, and ill probably not get the guts to do this again, and certainly never have before, so its now or never…….

im asking for help. please.

ads on tv

November 28, 2005

ever notice how sometimes ads on tv are like you, or someone you know, or an event in your life?

ever notice how as soon as you realise this they are being played every 2 seconds?

and of course you’ve noticed that those jingles get stuck in your head so that even when the tv is off, your still thinking of them

well, thats me at the moment

that HCF or whatever ad

“accentuate the positive……..” yeah – fuck off.

its that bit with that girl who has the shits and the guy goes “ill marry her one day”

ASSHOLE

didnt you hear her? she said thats it. she said shes had enough. dont just sit there and laugh thinking she’ll get over it. dont sit there thinking she’s there to stay. you cant just sit on ur arse and expect her to do it all. because if she has any brains, she wont.

All i can say is yes, Im a bitch. but this bitch has brains.

Id use my good old saying of ‘thanks, that was fun, now get out” but i think i missed the fun part, so i wont. just get out. because as that woman says, thats it. Ive had enough.

one of those days

November 27, 2005

no post yesterday
too busy
and tired
etc

morning – hung over. shopping. no nice shoes.
afternoon – the monavale saga
night – J being pesty. met new person. was different, and interesting. not ofeten i get to say that. we all remember the last time. this time it involved a dvd and bottles of wine.

Its probably a continuation of yesterday, but today is, as the title suggests, one of those days. Im really running on empty. Looked everywhere for a refill, but havent found one. I even naievly hoped Id get one from DH. Silly me huh. It shits me really. Because it takes so little to fill me up. And i dont need it very often. Dont want to have to resort to the usual when I cant get what I need from someone else. Its tiring. And expensive. But oh well. You need what you need, right? and if no one else will fix your problems, sooner or later you have to fix your own. Its just so much easier and quicker to get it from a friend. Bugger. Hopefully MIN will call asking for coffee before i get to that point. Havent seen much of her lately. That would fix me easy!

ahhhh

November 25, 2005

im pissed as all fuck. no posting for me tonight!!!