Holy Crappola! aka i watched channel 9

So apart from CSI and the occassional time in the morning where i missed the weather on Sunrise and need to leave NOW, I basically never watch channel 9. (oh I fib, third watch was filled with hotties in uniforms..mmm….emergency services…*drool*)

Last night I was bored shitless, and lay there watching TV instead of doing something usefull/sensible/whatever.

Eddie Maguire. Now theres a fuckwit. Someone (I forget who) had recently explained to me the premise of this 1 vs 100 show and I thought “meh, what the hell, lets see how stupid Ive become” thinking I could amuse myself by playing along at home and getting all the questions wrong. Sigh. What is with calling them the “mob?” I come from western sydney. Even people out here in bogan central think thats too bogan. Chanting just makes it worse (and very very cringe-worthy)

Now I could handle the stupid retard who kept grinning the whole time like a friggen escaped lunatic. I could even handle how confident AND WRONG she was on the question “on a standard mobile phone, what number does the first letter appear? a)0  b)1  c)2”. I was heartily surprised that so many wankers in the “mob” got it wrong, and so i was prepared to feel sorry for her a little. Until she lost and continued grinning like a demented monkey. Idiot.

So then they reset the “mob” and Eddie does some interviewing. I may or may not have missed a few bits, as channel surfing ads was more entertaining, as is to be expected. However after interviewing an old duck who was a “truckie” and being AMAZED at the fact she drives a 3tonne isuzu (which for the record is piss small and even I can drive on MY licence) he decided to interview one of the “dancers”.

Little miss Vapid whose name I dont recall because it doesnt fucking matter and I dont care, Responded to the question of what kind of dancing she does with alot of umm’s and ahh’s and a history of how LONG she had been dancing (since that was of course the correct response to what TYPE), and then volunteered the fact that she had been dancing at Commedian Dave Heuges’ bucks night a couple of weeks ago. Eddie made some lame arsed comment about what might happen if he was to poll the audience (OMG! He made a funny!) and then turned to Contestant with Facial Hair Issues and said something about the truckies and the *open air quote* DANCERS *close air quote*.


Someone tell me that I did not just witness Eddie Maguire insinuate what I think he did?

Is that woman somehow lesser because she is a stripper?

I had just enough time to recover from this and answer a phone call from Dickhead, when no sooner than I had said goodbye, what did my eyes and ears have to endure?

Thats right, that fucking dancer. Being asked to help the Contestant With Facial Hair Issues decide what answer to give.


Something about “if you wear a manolo, what would you be?”
a) Contruction Worker
b) Something I cant remember
c) A Fashionable Woman

Contestant With Facial Hair Issues said he didnt know, but was thinking maybe construction worker. Hes a man, Ill forgive him (since he obviously spends too long in front of a mirror shaving his special little lines all over his face each morning)

Little Miss Airhead said she chose Construction Worker, but was just guessing, she didnt have a clue. I quote “Manolo, whats that?”. I stared slack jawed at the screen. However my shock was compounded when this little gem came out of her gob next, and i quote

“I know fashion, and Ive never heard of a Manolo”

Well fuck me if i didnt have a conniption on the spot! Which I was very happy about because Id always wanted to say Id had one of those! Im very Jane Austin, me.

Sweetheart, keep stripping. Because your NOT going to score a job in the fashion industry. My only other advice is to listen to Eddie Maguire and start whoring too, because you obviously need more cash to spend on blow.

This girl is either stupid, or her ass is broke. Scratch that, even broke ass bitches who “know fashion” know Manolo Blahnik.

So thank you channel 9, for once you delivered. 1 vs 100. A show that truly blew my mind.

Manolo Blahnik
Manolo Blahnik
a man with impeccible taste

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6 Comments on “Holy Crappola! aka i watched channel 9”

  1. SurferCam Says:

    How funny Hun.
    I too happened to be briefly watching when that idiot chick said “I know fashion, and I’ve never heard of a Manolo”.
    Me, being a 32 male, knew what Manolo’s were. When she said that, I thought, yes you are a fucking idiot.

    Also, how many hours each day do you reckon it takes that guy to shave his face!

  2. SurferCam Says:

    Oh yeah, and a few people had the nerve to have a go at me for the pic I posted on Friday saying that i was having a go at strippers.
    Well, the idiot last night sure proved me right. Thanks love.

  3. coyotemike Says:

    It is amazing how many pure idiots can get on TV. And they don’t even know how embarrassed they should be. Tis flucked up.

    But if you ever see Steph on TV, record it and post it. Chances are, she will have tripped over a power cord, knocked out the host, and flashed her knickers at the camera.


  4. linda Says:

    That was the best bit of TV I had seen in ages… “I know fashion, and I’ve never heard of Manolo” – too funny. Thanks for the laugh Huniii x

  5. huniii Says:

    alot of 32 year old men know manolos, often in shades of pink….
    and i think he spent the whole of last week preparing for last nights show

    Surfer returned
    its not just strippers who are stupid. seems CEOs of major tv networks are too

    If i ever catch steph on telly, ill post a youtube here stat! pinky promise, mkay! Actually, not so long ago i tripped over a bright orange safety couloured power cord stretched half a metre off the floor going from the socket in the wall to an overhead projector and broke my arm. The lecturer specifically warned everyone to be careful of said cord not 5 minutes previously. Chances are, if steph WAS to do such a thing, it would be a race to see who did it first/most retarded.

    Im always good for a laugh. Often just by looking at me, let alone opening my mouth!

  6. Bobby Says:

    While “1 vs. 100” is a Dutch concept, the show is based on the United States version, which has the progressive money tree, the “pods” of contestants, the emotion-charged contestants, and taunting.

    The term “mob” is taken directly from the US version as the “enemy” of the “one”. If the one loses, the mob takes the cash.

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