In Brief

Steph The Stat-Ho
Your mention of me sent over 700 new visitors in the first day(not a full 24hrs either mind) TSSH’s lame arsed attempt at snarking came in at 302 for the first full 24hrs. You also sent over more visitors in one day than they did….EVAH!! So props to Tephs.

Is trying very hard to cope with all this. Thankyou everyone who has expressed their concern, it was all noted, from sympathy to offers of guardianship, and from first time blog attendees to long time friends, and everything in between.

As in all break-ups, things are still going. Its a freaking mess. Ive NEVER had a break up like it before. Not even Bugalugs’ dad made this much of a mess of my head. Maybe its the whole dying thing, or maybe not. I dont know. Back to this later. Suffice to say its fucking me up royally, and as much as i know i shouldnt let it, i cant stop it.

The List
So again I suck at lists. I keep writing one or two things, then end up blubbering/thinking i sound like a wanker/chastising myself for worrying about sounding wankerish/getting tired/distracted by details on how to achieve it/just cant be bothered/being visited or phoned by a friend/receiving an email that makes me laugh so hard i need to pee. Fuck I suck at this.

So I found a company that will take me. Hurrah! Now all I need is someone to go with me so I cant chicken out. Volunteers?

Some big decision making will be going down in case del honey today/tomorrow. *freaks out*

So I managed to get out a bit lately. Will post more shortly. Its in drafts but I keep getting distracted/tired/whatever. Soon though I will be out and about in the big wide world properly, so look out!

Dickhead suggested that I buy the car I really like, hang the expense, but it proved difficult to organise the purchase, and I ended up giving up. I kept thinking it was not such a good idea, i mean, where the hell would i put it? Der! Mercedes SL65 for those playing at home. And yes, it involved mortgaging property to get it, so it probably wasnt that smart. (dont fret about bugalugs’ future, the life insurance will suffice plenty, mkay?) Anyhoo, it all got complicated and turned into a drama, and i cant be arsed with drama right now. So instead I grabbed a bargain, and picked up a gawjus little 2001 Vectra (its still a german import, same thing, right?) Well no-one told me it had the blinkers on the wrong side like Dickheads Beamer (which I christened the bitch – for more than just this reason though). So if you see someone turning a corner with the windscreen wipers going – say hi!

Note: pics coming

Im tired again. Fuck me, all I do nowadays is sleep! NOT my preferred past time in bed!

Which reminds me, breaking up with Dickhead right now is a BAD THING. Of course shagging-like-crazy is on my list of things i want to do, its ME remember? Whats bizarre though is the number of guys (and girl) who are calling – for both booty calls AND quasi-relationship-thingies – now that we are no longer whatever-the-fuck-we-were.* Wow. And although some are absolute hellcats in the sack and some are ones ive always wanted to find out about (and yes, some are id-never-go-there’s) I just cant bring myself to do anything.

This is not me, but I’m on the way out so i can stop caring what anyone thinks, and just say it.

Dickhead has absolutely done a number on me. I cant get him out of my head, my heart, or my spirit. In SA, my peeps call him my nooi, and you know what, thats EXACTLY what he is. Or he was. Or he could be. I dont know.

All I know is that he is so stubborn he would not allow our relationship the chance to be salvaged. Not just salvaged, but grow. And despite that, despite how I SHOULD be feeling towards him, I cant let go.

I think I need to come back to this in another post. I see where its going.

Explore posts in the same categories: uncategorised

2 Comments on “In Brief”

  1. iain Says:

    hellcats… i like the way you described that one.. 🙂


  2. huniii Says:

    one of them id even class as a FREAK
    hmmm, just thinking about that one makes my mouth drool

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