“D” Words


I am a walking disaster. Everything I touch manages to somehow turn to shit. Even un-shittable things just start stinking as soon as I get a hold of them. It is quite a skill really. Point is, how long can I continue to say “I suck” for, until it becomes all I can do. If you start expecting to suck, does that make sucking more likely an outcome? Do you subconciously sabotage yourself? But then again, knowing that you always suck, wouldnt you suck if you try and change your suckyness? So is there a point to doing anything? Or nothing? See, Im even a disaster at telling you Im a disaster. Well, at least im consistant.


A friend of mine has dimples. Every time he smiles a really heartfelt smile, they light up his face. Theyre gorgeous. Hes gorgeous. His dimples make me smile. I love seeing them. They make me happy. He hates them. They make him feel bad about himself. They make him hesitate to smile. Strange how what you hate about yourself can be something someone else delights in.


Another friend of mine calls himself the Turkish Delight. Being Turkish, he thinks this witty and amusing. He is a git. He also says the phrase “are you serious?” every time you say something. Both things grate on my nerves. Both things make him definately not delightful to converse with. Recently he stopped. I wish he’d start again. Whats even less delightful than him constantly saying these things, is him NOT saying them.


I saw Dickhead today. Just for a few minutes, as we both ran around doing stuff, and met by the side of the road to give each other some stuff we each needed for work. I noticed 3 things about him immediately. 1. Fuck he smells good. 2. Hes lost weight. 3. Hes bought new shoes – and I dont like them. Speaking to Aurs later this afternoon, I worried that I had gone all girly, and asked his opinion. See, the D’oh happened when I realised that he had lost weight during this month of not seeing each other, whilst I had put some on (damn gym-less hospital! for the price they charge per night it should include a personal trainer). Aurs’ wisdom was that Dickhead was clearly gay. Apparently any man who notices weight-loss by any other means than using a new notch on his belt (or running out of notches and needing a new belt) was gay. Well, Dickhead had indeed noticed his change, because a few minutes later he asked me if I thought he had lost any weight. I dont think it had much to do with belt notches, and let me tell ya, if theres any extra notches on his belt whilst im starving sexually, he will lose even more weight, specifically from his groin. Apparently Dickhead would also have been gay if he had noticed my weight gain. I dont know if he was simply a man and therefore didnt notice, or whether he did notice and was simply too smart to comment, for fear of no longer being a man.


Or rather the distinct lack thereof in my life right now. A situation that needs immediate rectification.


Sometimes, any amount of this in time or kilometres can be almost too much to bear. Sometimes it can heal. And sometimes, there can never be enough.


Something I have in spades right now. Goodnight.




The Countdown

Bugalugs’ Birthday:    1 sleep

End of ramadan:         3 sleeps

Being able to snuggle into Dickhead and wallow in his fantastic smelling yummyness:  TOO FREAKING MANY

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3 Comments on ““D” Words”

  1. Aurelius Says:

    I should clarify – when I talked about “notches” in a belt, it wasn’t the same thing as notches in one’s bedhead.
    And if I’ve got it right, it’s Bugalugs’ birthday tomorrow?
    I hope he has a good one, especially at home with his mummy.
    Love to both of you.

  2. Scorpy Says:

    Happy Birthday to Bugalugs and the fact that in 3 days we can all eat in daylight hours 🙂

  3. huniii Says:

    I know babe! Thanks for the love! And as usual, you were right. Yay for us being able to count!

    Bugalugs would thank you if he wasnt so sick from eating too much cake. And who cares about eating when fucking is available again????!!!!!

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