I dont know what to write first.

I guess thats the trouble with not posting for a week and a half. So lets start with the first horrible thing, because it has a good side to it.

A friend of mine is 1000kms away. He has been one of my biggest rocks in this cancer/dickhead catastrophy or two. Ours is a different relationship to most. Its good, but also hard. The same things that work in our favour can also work against us. We have some similiarities in our life. They give us the ability to clearly understand how the other feels and thinks, and why we behave how we do. However, it also makes us useless at giving advice, because we are both fucked on that issue. Some things we are vastly different on, which gives provides interesting new directions of thought when advice is given. It can also have unintentioned side effects though, and be received wrong.

Email ping pong, sms tag and msn is a strange way to maintain a relationship. We talk on the fone sometimes, and admittedly, lately it has been alot more than normal. Last weekend when something small happened to me with disasterous consequences, it was him I turned to. Being so far away, never seeing each other in person, not having the same circle of friends…. it all allows a different side to come out. Vulnerability and looking the fool arent really an issue, because its contained to just one person, one person who although is a real friend, also isnt. Its different. Hard to explain. But good.

This person is going through his own stuff right now. And some of it is stuff that is close to my stuff. And Im having a hard time being the friend i want to be. Hes so far away. Im so caught up in my own stuff & drama that Im having trouble seeing past it. And his disaster is one Im desperately trying to avoid. Its hard to help someone deal with one of your own fears. Its extra hard when their a million miles away.


I have this thing I do with friends. Sometimes I do it when they need cheering up and support. Sometimes I do it to thank them for what they have done for me. Sometimes I just do it to show that their friendship is appreciated. One thing all my friends say is that I have a big heart. Another is that Im very thoughtful and considerate. Another is that Im certifiably insane and make no sense whatsoever. All those things kinda go together in this. So I give you the recipie for this particular HONEYS PATENTED CARE PACKAGE that was sent to my far away friend last week and still hasnt arrived. (hense our theory that the postman stole it)

1 x Can Coke (as he admits to being addicted to the stuff)
1 x Box Bite Sized Wagon Wheels (his favourite food that cheers him up)
1 x Packet Balloons (an “in thing” we share, with pooh giving piglet a balloon to cheer him up as “no one can be uncheered by a balloon”)
1 x Handwritten Letter (because no one bothers to do proper letters any more)
1 x Pack Banana Lollies as milkshakes are too hard to transport and may get stinky (he commented last week about his joy at being able to buy banana smoothies again)
1 x Childrens Book with a title that mentions an “in joke” of ours (this will be impossible to replace – i found it at a 2nd hand book store, cracked up laughing at the title and bought it, even though 3 pages were missing from the rather crap story)

It would have been better but i ran out of time, and also space in the box. Cant you feel the love in there? I did what I could to make sure he knew I had put thought and effort into it. I wanted him to know his help and friendship was appreciated. I will be compiling a replacement this weekend, and resending it. This time it will also be a cheering up thing, not just a thankyou.

Hopefully this post will serve as a public thankyou. And he will know I appreciate him. And that I wish I was as good at supporting him as he is me.

But then, we both know that


Explore posts in the same categories: Friends, Honeys Helpful Hints, Other Messes

2 Comments on “I dont know what to write first.”

  1. Aurelius Says:

    Thanks for showing me what real friends are like. You highlight others’ weaknesses with your strengths.

  2. huniii Says:


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