Beds

There are many beds you get to sleep in as an adult. So many in fact that you can categorise them into “types”. Cant you just feel another installment of the Helpful Harry Honey series looming? I can. What brought this on? Well, the fact that I am currently, and have been since Monday, occupying a bed that is not my own, (ie terribly uncomfortable hospital bed) all the while begging to be allowed to return to my pillowy goodness, all to no avail. And being as I am here and therefore internet time is extremely limited, I am doing much downloading then reading and typing offline. And what do I chose to do with all this bedtime? I help you lot of course! Thats the kind of bored shitless considerate gal I am. So here it is people:

The Helpful Harry Honey Guide to Beds

The first type is of course the one Im in now. Hospital Beds. Never a fun experience. Theyre hard, have only 1 pillow, and although those cellular blankets are good when your in bed during the day, they do fuck all to combat the aircon at 3am when all hospitals decide to set the temperateure to ICE AGE. Im starting to think thats how they bump off the oldies. I know theres a bed shortage crisis in NSW Hospitals, but thats going a bit far innit? What about the rest of us? Or is it some plan by the workers to ensure their employment considering the new IR laws? By giving us all pneumonia they are ensuring they have patients next week, and therefore jobs. Surely theres a better way? Cant they just drop a few cases of beer at a 16yr old boys’ party and save us decent folk from illness? Wouldnt they prefer some much livelier & bloody accidents caused by underage innebriation?

That brings me to the next type that Im craving. MINE. Theres just nuttin better than your own bed. My bed is particularly good as you will recall from the previous post about its pillowy goodness. Sigh.

Then theres your kids bed. Not the most comfortable, or the most fun to sleep in, because it is usually accompanied by a sick kid who wont let you leave their side for an instant, and wakes at the slightest movement as you try not to fall on the floor, let alone get up and go to your own bed. Right now though, as in a couple of other instances, Id give just about anything for that. I cannot wait to get home to my little boy and hug him till he wont let me hug him no more. Im missing him dreadfully, and would do anything to sleep cuddled up next to the 30 odd kilos of wiggling, snoring, sleep-talking lumpyness that is him. I wouldnt even complain about the matchbox cars in the bed.

Then theres the boyfriends bed. If I could breathe, I wouldnt mind sleeping….well…I wouldnt mind being in that kind of bed either. Oh who am I kidding? I dont really care if I can breathe or not, pull back the doona, im hopping in!

Then of course there are hotel beds, which i personally detest after watching too many episodes of CSI. But then again, I cant complain, Im sure to have been the cause of some of that. *hides in shame*

So now that Ive been so helpful, can we please start a petition to make the doctors and my friends stop ganging up on me and making me stay here? Id really like to move on to the other types of beds. Ive absolutely had my fill of the hospital variety.

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Explore posts in the same categories: Honeys Helpful Hints, Speaking of, Useless Junk

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