Friendly Advice

Firstly I want to say thankyou to everyone who has offered up tea & sympathy these past few days. THANKYOU. Its all been appreciated, whether it be blog-comments, emails, txts, phone calls, visits, snail-mail, and even the person who dragged me out of bed at 3.30am because his favourite song came on the radio & he wanted me to sing it to him. Elly, your a fucking wanker, babe! But you did make me laugh and forget my troubles for a little while.

Ever wonder what you’d say to someone you loved who was in a position like I am? Well, being the helpful person I so clearly am, I shall impart my wisdom to y’all right now! So here goes Honeys 11th installment in the Helpful Harry Honey Series. (I really have to fish these old posts out and group em on the sidebar, huh).

Helpful comments (in addition to those in my comments section as im too lazy to repeat) include:

“Im not good at coping. I’d probably just sleep & wish it would go away”

“Vodka, Honey”

“He’s a prick. No he’s a fucking wanker. All men are assholes. Do you know what ‘insert latest shags name here’ did? The bastard…..(drone on for 20 minutes)….. so yeah, did you wanna go to ***** on Friday?”

“Fuck hey. So who’d ya tip in the footy, the dogs? Or where you nice to your son for once and support the pathetics?” (his pet name for the panthers)

”                                   ”

“Oh baby, thats awful. Come give me some sugar. (hug)” accompany this with a grab of my arse. sigh. your a fucktard Mez. lol.

“Suck it up Honz, your bringing me down. Ah hah hah hah! Just messn!”

“mmmpppfffhhhgrrrrnnnpttt” when I asked for some clarification on that: “you wanna krispy kreme?”

“ah shit girl. fucking MFC AND your ouma? Fuck. What was it I heard about Dickhead? REALLY? NO WAY! Oh thats fucked. Lets go out and get you a new one. Get changed. Why? Coz you look like shit. And makeup. I dont care if you dont feel like going out, as soon as you spy a hottie and you can do more than just PERVE, you’ll cheer up! AND WHY DONT YOU WANT TO PICK UP? Like he isnt going to be. Actually, maybe we should stay in, I mean really, you look like crap”


Theyre a helpful bunch, arent they.

Oh, and I left out all the “your better off without him”s, “you’ll be right”s, “I never liked him anyways”s (usually by those who didnt even meet him. wtf?) “do you want me to hurt him?”s and the “he’ll come back – he loves you”s. Also all the condolences and the suggestions to just worry about my health and Bugalugs and screw everyone else.

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2 Comments on “Friendly Advice”

  1. Aurelius Says:

    well, i really would go to sleep and wish it would go away
    and if i woke up and still felt like that,
    i’d go to sleep again

  2. huniii Says:

    I know you would darl, never doubted it for a moment

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