Oh God. Save Me.

I feel so sick.

I am being torn 8 ways from Sunday.

My loyalties and beliefs are being tested IN THE EXTREME.

What do I do?

No matter what I do, I’ll fuck something up.

I dont want to be a grown up anymore. Im not as big as I think I am.

Im terrified. That is for once, not an exaggeration.

Every option results in disaster. I lose, no matter what.

The next few days will prove if I have grown up.

I just hope I dont screw up Bugalugs.

I could handle it if I destroy myself , but not him.

Failure is not an option. But its the only choice I have available.

So what the fuck do I do now?

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4 Comments on “Oh God. Save Me.”

  1. Scorpy Says:

    I know what you mean…I have made some terrible choices (wrong options) over the past year, since my Divorce and hospital, but I always hope that I don’t hurt my girls. I want to run away and start again but they keep me here locked in a cycle that always seems downward. I struggle each day to be positive and strong just so I can see them each weekend. I have thought of ‘S’ word, in the past, but always I seem to land on my feet and now at least I think I am finally on the rise but it has been every hard. I don’t know what I can say to you that won’t seem contrite but hang in there for bugalugs. Take care xxx

  2. Imelda Says:

    *mwah*

    Take care, Hon. xxx

  3. huniii Says:

    All comments appreciated. Truly. They dont help much, but theres not really anything that will. The sentiment is appreciated though. I just cant really exist right now, let alone speak coherantly. Not that I ever did before. Meh. I give up.


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