Stupidity: A Game Everyone Can Play

I feel crap.

Everything has gotten fucked up beyond belief.

Im tired of fighting.

Im tired of things being so fucking hard, and all because others have to step in and mess shit up. Just leave it the fuck alone, people! I dont ask for you to make it easier, just dont make it harder!

That shit hurt. Its really gotten me down.

Cant stay down, need to get up and start again.

Scared and not looking forward to the changes in health. 2 & 1/2 weeks to go.

That 2 & 1/2 weeks makes me think of things differently, and its holding me back. Mostly the not knowing is the worst. Not knowing how it will be, and what I will be able to do.

Is it just me, or should parents, when discovering their child has cancer, should say "oh shit" or "oh no" or (stretching it) "are you ok?" or, well, pretty much anything other than "well, now we have a possible winning legal argument to take control of all her money & pretend its for the good of her son"???? Its just me? OK.

Take all that, plus the rest im not talking about, and add it all together.

Then notice that Dickhead, who should by all rights and expectations and previous actions be long gone, and find that he isnt. That he is still there. Still being a friend. Even wearing some of the shit himself instead of adding it to my stinking heap. And saying that although he can add it, its not fair on me, and has chosen not to.

hmmmm

Id say i was shocked, which i am, but im not.

Id say i was glad, which i am, but im not

mostly – im just confused.

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5 Comments on “Stupidity: A Game Everyone Can Play”

  1. Steph Says:

    I don’t really know what to say to all that.
    Everything would just sound like empty platitudes.
    Stay strong Hunii. At least try to.

    ((Hugs))

  2. Scorpy Says:

    I never know what to say when these things happen to other people…I spent eight months in and out of hospital after breaking my back and then went straight back in and had my Thyroid removed, my parents didn’t visit or even send a card…I think they thought that if the didn’t get involved then it all would just go away and they would not have to deal with it. Ijust wanted a hug and top know that I had some support!
    Stay strong and vent away here… ((hugs))

  3. Aurelius Says:

    We haven’t spoken a lot lately Hun. Hope you’re okay.

  4. Jaina Says:

    Sounds like you have a true friend in Dickhead. They are far and few between. Parents, I think teach us how to be better people as we watch them in horror.

  5. Honey Says:

    Steph
    Thanks. Your hugs are squishy. LOL

    Scorpy
    Thanks. I know all about freakn hospitals. I was 12 when I broke my back and spent a hell of a lot of time there, and then even more in & out afterwards. And thats not counting the many other visits for other things. Im used to them not caring (sort-of)Im just not used to them being so obviously against me. Its one thing to not be on someones side, a whole other thing to actively campaign against them. Fucktards.

    Aurelius.
    Same. And I miss you.

    Janina
    He’s more than just a friend. In alot of ways. And its a strange thing that Dickhead & I have going on. But yeah, our friendship means more to us than anything. I knew we were strong, it just surprises me almost daily just how strong. Its actually a bit scary. If I didnt know as confidently as I do that its a dead end relationship, I could see that it could go far. But there are things there that wont let that happen, from both our sides. Shit. I just worked out why so many people think were getting married! I would too if I didnt know the reasons we wont!


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