Well Slap Me Down & Call Me Chicken Little

Blogger ate my post.

Oh wait.

Im on WordPress now.

New host, same ole shit I suppose

Anyhoo, instead of re-doing the whole post I already did earlier I will simply restate my conclusions thusly

  1. Im drunk
  2. My world is falling down around my ears
  3. I have no-one to blame but myself for those 2 things
  4. When I get depressed/stressed/whatever – I cook. I now have a housefull of dirty dishes, a filthy oven, and so much food I could feed a small african nation for 6 days. Any hungry people: ask and you shall recieve. Sweets for all. yay.
  5. That was the saddest yay Ive ever written
  6. I now no longer have any boys
  7. I now no longer have my Pia
  8. I now no longer have a male genetic donor person
  9. I shall very soon no longer have a dickhead
  10. I dont care who or what is to blame for those things. Fact is, thats how they are. End of story.
  11. Sometimes all you want in the world is a hug from your son
  12. When all you want is a hug from your son, all he will want is to play at the park.
  13. Crying makes your eyes hurt
  14. Also makes your chest hurt. Or maybe thats just me.
  15. Phones ring non-stop when you want silence.
  16. Phones never ring when you want them to. Or at least, the person you want is never on the other end.
  17. Mr Johnny Walker should always be taken to dinner before you put him in your mouth.
  18. When the sky falls, blue tac just wont cut it. I need to get me some superglue.

I need to stop hoping that the picture I have in my head will happen in reality. Because in reality, even if the picture DID happen, it wouldnt ever feel the way it feels in my mind.

I want to get back to drawing. I think I will. And not just because Im pissed. I need an outlet. And fuck knows Im no good at writing. I write like I speak, just straight from my brain to my mouth and out it comes, not thought in between, no editing. I do it to empty my head, and because once ive spat it out it seems more real, and i can see it, and feel it and understand it and deal with it. I can take one look and say "thats crap" and fix it. Kinda like art. And now Im rambling, and it was writing that made me see it. So now I can say "thats crap" and fix it.

By shutting up.

And look, you didnt even need to stuff anything in my mouth to get me to be quiet.

Explore posts in the same categories: A Great Big Mess

3 Comments on “Well Slap Me Down & Call Me Chicken Little”

  1. Scorpy Says:

    I thought I had already replied to this post, this morning, but maybe it was eaten also….bugger!
    I loved this post (sorry) it made me think of my life, in general. I love hugs from my daughters because they don’t want anything in return and there is no need to second guess them, it is just pure love and the stuff that makes us parents stronger (for a little while at least)
    I cry but noone sees it….it’s good for the soul, in moderation. I love to draw and have just bought some new supplies to start anew. It is a hobbie that I loved but gave away many years ago for HER and now I’m going to do it for me. Stay safe and give the boy another hug 🙂

  2. Imelda Says:

    Hon, you know how to find me. Give me a call any time you want a chat or virtual hug…24/7. I’m here for ya. xxx

  3. huniii Says:

    Awww thanks! And this wordpress thing is turning into a bigger bitch than blogger ever was. Considering another move……….
    Id give him another hug, but the little bugger just doesnt sit still for 2 whole seconds in a row!

    Awww thanks!
    What, no mms-ing? LMFAO

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