Saturday Stupidity

The title will become evident. Trust me. It will just take a while.

Woah. What a day. That seems to come out of my mouth alot around here lately. And with good reason. So here goes:

Last night Pia came over. I was on a bit of a down, and she rang, and could tell, so being the spekky girl she is she offered to come stay over and cheer me up. Except when she got here, everything just welled up and spilled over. Stuff Id been holding in. The fight between Dickhead & I took more out of me than Id realised. Id also had a texty fight with my boys. And the whole "hey, your dying soon!" thing kinda hit home a bit last night. And so i let it out a little, comforted by her great big bear hugs. So I sniffled and moaned, and she cuddled and "i know, I know, there there-ed" a whole lot. A bottle of scotch later and we tucked up under a pile of doonas in the pillowy goodness (I see my bed now has a name) and chatted as all good girlfriends do until somewhere mid-conversation (which by now is moving at a pace that makes snails get road rage) one of us drops off to sleep. Neither of us know who it was, we were both that tired.

Fast forward to this morning. And gorgeous Pia gets up early and grabs us both a hair of the dog. And fixes the TV for Bugalugs, setting him up with a dvd & some brekky. I did protest a little, but it only took one suggestion of staying in bed, and i was all "OK!" and rolling over. Im such a man. LOL. So she comes back in under the doonas and we chat a bit more. I check out the 500 messages from when i turned my fone off last night. reply to the ones that were worth it. And she suggests I go have a shower while she cooks us all some brekky. WOO HOO!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~meanwhile, back at the ranch~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So whilst Im in the shower, for some crazy reason she decides its high school, and grabs my fone, and texts some nasty messages to Dickhead, berating him for having "upset Honey with that fight last night" as well as "not treating her good enough" and a whole tirade of things, calling him the C word, and accusing him of cheating. Also launching forward with an attack about how, because i had said the argument was "at least half my fault, probably more" he had obviously manipulated me into taking the blame unwarranted. How she could possibly know all this from the tiny bit i said (and no details were alluded to) i have no fucking clue. I guess she thought she was being a good friend and "sticking up for me" but WHAT THE FUCK?? I cant do that for myself? What are we, like, 12 years old?

I dont recall passing her a note to pass to dickheads friend to pass to him, saying "will you go out with me? tick yes or no" to pass back to him to pass back to Pia to pass back to me. FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU FUCKER! GROW UP! BUTT OUT! Its nice that you supported me, but in a grown up world, you sit there, listen, shut up, pass me a tissue and some alcohol and THATS IT! Sheesh. You certainly do NOT do what she did next, and call one of my boys (the top dog so to speak) and say "Dickhead hurt Honey. Quick, come here and save her!" or whatever crap it was that she said in order to have Frog and Bear turn up on my doorstep, getting me out of the shower. That was a surprise, let me tell you! Mind you, Bugalugs had already come and interrupted telling me Dickhead had rung (on all my fones it turned out and couldnt get hold of me – cant I BATHE IN PEACE???) on the house fone and wanted me to call him back when i got out of the shower. FARK!!!! All this by 9am with a hangover! No wonder Im worn out!

So after telling Frog to go jump (haw haw haw) and getting him and Bear (who was a darl) to leave, I went nuts at Pia for the fucktardary she has caused. Then I rang Dickhead who didnt answer – poor bugger was at work during all of this, thank fuck he's his own boss too like me – and noticed the missed calls and voicemail……… Putting 2 and 2 together like sherlock holmes (or the accountant that I am, but more likely sherlock holmes – im still hung over remember) I figure out that Pia had been at Dickhead, so ring her and find out, causing another blue. Now seeing that FUCKING BITCH (as i now affectionately – not – call her) had gotten involved in Dickhead & I's relationship just months before and caused shit and lost my friendship because of her actions, I was especially PISSED OFF, and let her have it again. Im now re-evaluating our relationship.

So finally Dickhead calls, and all gets squared away there. Hes shitty, and rightfully so. He forwarded the txts Pia had sent. WHOA!!!! Feral, absolutely feral, and SO FAR OUT OF LINE it was ridiculous. Selfish, so so selfish. Sigh. Its so hard being as popular as me! lol.

So, on to more of the day.

Raw chicken. Its AWFUL. You dont need to be preggers to be grossed out by this. its just…..EWW.

Im not going to my friends funeral on monday. She knows how I felt about her. I dont need the agrivation that will be caused by me attending. I dont need to go to say goodbye. What I believe about death, doesnt require me to be there for closure. I want to go, but it isnt worth the drama. I'll say goodbye in my own way.

Went out in Loweys new car today. Shes nearly up to spec. I got to drive the as-yet-unnamed-red-one instead of his green machine like usual. She's good. Emily would still have her I reckon, but shes good. Id have to try at least, which is a compliment!

Speaking of out in Loweys car…..Im not that old that I need to be made to feel young again, am i? Im only 26. Dickhead is the old man at 35, as I keep reminding him, and have just done again! LOL. If Foof was here she'd be on about saggy balls………..anyhooooo, the point was, that the cops pulled us over. I remember this from the good ole P-Plate days, and yeah I still get it occassionaly due to the cars I drive around in, but obviously being the middle of the day on a saturday in an urban area with 3 of these cars in a row…… the cops just couldnt resist the temptation. (of course all racing activites were not performed anywhere we'd get booked). FORTY SEVEN MINUTES LATER: stupid pricks still couldnt find a single default. BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH Stupid pigs.These cars are probably safer to be in and around than the patrol cars they were in. No Im not naieve, Im serious. These people know their shit, and fork out thousands getting it all engineered and thoroughly tested. These cars are scrutinised like crazy before rego.

People are blogging me. Im so SOMETHING that people ive never met are blogging about me. And I didnt even do it. This is not the first time Ive appeared in others blogs in a personal sense. Its weird enough to see your blog get a mention on someone elses, but your real life? CRAZY!

Some songs are meant to be driven to. Some songs demand to be sung along to. Some songs do both of these things. To the people in the blue Super Persuit parked beside Llama and I this afternoon as we were doing both these things to such a song, I say FUCK YOU. Laugh all you want. We were having more fun than you so put your jeleous heads back in your bogan ute and drive back to Nimbin in your financed car that your dad had to guarantee for you.

Explore posts in the same categories: A Great Big Mess

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