My First Time

Settle Petals! This isnt a post about me losing my virginity.

So that got rid of about 50,000 readers!

Im actually talking about the new pics on cigarette packets in an attempt to make all us smokers vomit quit.

Yesterday I purchased the first pack that had a pic on it. Lovely, no?

Yeah well, dont worry about that, coz look inside…..

Apparently the WTC isnt too concerned with having peoples gobs looking like that, is it?

So the friendly guy behind the counter, after hearing my reaction of EWWWW!!!! asked if it made me want to quit, or made me lose my appetite for a ciggie. Answer? No. All it made me want to do was find a sticker or something and cover it up.

That thought however was closely followed by "I think TODAY is the day i'll be buying me a cute little cigarette case".

Do we all recall my prediction at the announcement of this campaign? For those not privy to my bouts of wisdom and foresight, Ill reitterate:

"the only thing thats going to accomplish is (a) more teenagers and early 20's will take up smoking because all those pretty little accessories will become fashionable again, and (b) kids are going to freak out at their parents habits even MORE now" Smart, arent i!

Bugalugs asked me if I was going to stop smoking now because he didnt want me to kiss him anymore if my mouth is going to look like that. I said it wouldnt, because "mummy uses a toothbrush" (cue bugalugs confessing he forgot to clean his teeth like i asked him and asking to go back home so he could – theres a benefit for ya!) He then suggested i buy "that other type of smokes that dont make your mouth go yuk, just in case, mummy". Ah, the intelligence of 5 year olds.

Another friend spied the new pack, and asked if i was quitting. I explained about the plan to buy a case, and their response was "well, that worked then, didnt it?" Sarcasm, an aussies best friend.

Another remarked "well, at least you wont be getting any of those SMOKING GIVES YOU LUNG CANCER ones anymore. I never mentioned it Honey, but I always found it funny that every time i saw you smoke, you got one of THOSE packs. hahaha"

To which i wittily, and not for the first time replied "I liked those ones. Its like, smoking will give me lung cancer huh? well, bring it on bitch, what am i gunna do, get it twice?"

They didnt say much after that.

Ah, the joys of being a freak of the highest order.

Advertisements
Explore posts in the same categories: The First 199

7 Comments on “My First Time”


  1. I love the packets with the mouth cancer. When someone asks me a question I grab a packet, put it too my mouth, and move the packet up and down when I talk. It’s like a fucked ventriloquist. One of the best visual gags around.

  2. Honey Says:

    bwah hah hah hah

  3. Steph Says:

    I’m a smoke nazi! I won’t kiss anyone who’s been smoking. My last boyfriend had to give up a fifteen year habit just to get some sexin’.

    Evil yes.

  4. Honey Says:

    evil, yes.
    i quit when i was preggers
    i will quit again soon
    but right now, a smoke is the only thing that makes it feel a little less like a hippo is sitting on my chest.
    so until i beat this cancer thing, im gunna keep making myself feel better any way i can

  5. Honey Says:

    and btw, Dickhead doenst smoke. And if im going to be seeing him, i dont either, for his benefit. He didnt ask me to do that, thats just me. He says he doesnt mind if i smoke, because its my choice, but i do it out of courtesy anyway

    and i DO NOT smoke around bugalugs. unless its like, hi at the park and me a few metres away

  6. Imelda Says:

    Another smoke nazi here. I’m fine with friends and acquaintances smoking (at a distance from me), but wanna kiss me – fuck off the cigarettes. And we won’t mention what might happen if someone smokes near my kid. Not pretty.

  7. Scorpy Says:

    They now sell those little coloured plastic boxes to hide the whole packet…so noone sees the pack or the image 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: