the first day

well the first day is nearing completion, and fucking hell has the shit hit the fan or what?

last nights shitfight with DH seems to have gone the way of all things between us and is somewhere between being ignored/forgotten and me not knowing what the fuck is going on.

i did however still keep up with my kick-arseness and offered rather alot of assistance on something. i just hope it was appreciated. he’ll get back to me when he has the answer ready. i was slightly demanding and i dont care. i was respectful as i could be without it fucking me around, so he can either deal or not. it was all stuff to his benefit anyway.

then i went and spent a fortune on all the thankyou gifts etc that i owe, or that people owe that could possibly be attributed to me. (my whole world runs on cases of beer and bottles of spirits – its handy but heavy lol). if im going to clean the slate on everything and put everything in order, then i need to have my own slate clear. otherwise its hypocritical, and just plainly something i dont agree in. stuff it if you dont think its right.

SO –

all the boys turned up at FGRs after i sent them a text to meet me there, barring those interstate and one who is supporting his woman through a really hard time. and i told those who didnt know, what exactly is going on with me at the moment. it hit like a ton of bricks. i ditn stick around. i answered their immediate questions, said whatever else i felt was necessary and left.

then came PIA. that was hard. i really feel for her, what i said wasnt easy to say, let alone hear. but it did have to be done. and so i did it. and ive left her to think for a bit, and if i dont hear from her tomorrow, ill call to check up on her.

then came CPS and didnt she kick up a stink. tough shit. get over it. im not copping the blame for that. if i can do my part, then she can do hers.

thoughout the day i rang clients and put the idea in their heads that bills were meant to be paid. such a novel idea for some. even more forign a thought was that i might actually like to be paid on time. or at least less than 90 days overdue.

GOH was a bit of a pain in the arse so i simply stopped speaking to him. ill get back to him when i feel like it.

and good ole SXC! bought a new car and offered me a tour. so i thought, you know what? that sounds like fun, why the hell not. so i went.

and i got my haircut. such a small thing, yes i know. but something ive been putting off in favour of “more important and pressing” things and well, their not all that important and pressing (or appreciated) so i just went. and i feel better for it.

now im thinking about doing something for myself everyday as a rule. so im going to try it. it may work, it may not. but fuck it, im giving it a go. its the only way to shorten the list, really.

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