my arse hurts. someone kicked it pretty hard last night. and he was right to. i do wish he had been a bit gentler, some parts were nasty, but thats not his style.

in a way i wish he knew what i used to be like forever ago. which is why im not like that now. i learnt lessons being a hard arse. and i know that things i do now are causing me hurt and losses but this way i sleep at night. this way im happy with who i am, and what i do. but i guess lately i HAVE slid too far in the other direction.

ive been everything i hate. whingy, whiny, needy, soft, a pushover, gentle, girlie, and just WAY too concerned with how others see me and feel about what i do. and WAY too generous.

so i know ive said this occasionally over the past few months, and ive always given excuses, but this time i mean it. back to normal for honey.

there are excuses – big ones even. but im not giving them. you can either accept that fact or not. it doesnt really matter. and i am still a nice person. its just that showing just how nice i am isnt working. people are taking advantage of that. and thats not going to continue.

so if you knew me before, expect things to go back to normal. expect to have to pull your weight in our relationship again.

and if you didnt know me. get ready for a surprise. because everything ive said about what i was like is true, and then some.

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