10 things im thinking about

just got off the phone where i told a close friend my mornings experience of disrespect.

i was at a car dealership (big mistake, i know – root of all evil and so on) I was looking at a $65,000+ car. the salesman was excited at what he knew to be an almost guaranteed sale. he is going on holidays this afternoon, and as the good salesman he is, introduced me to his boss, the manager of the dealership. this manager spent LITERALLY more than half the conversation staring at my tits. he checked them out before he even shook my hand. he checked them out as he asked me my name. he just couldnt drag himself away from them. even the salesman noticed, and was unimpressed.

now normally i would have cut him off at the knees, but i liked this car. its the last of a limited edition series. there isnt any more. i cant go anywhere else to get one. this guy made me want to walk away from it. BIG TIME. but i bit my tongue, not wanting to cut my nose off to spite my face.

so i explained this to my friend on the phone. his response? “what do you expect since you wear low cut tops all the time?”

this resulted in me asking if i had heard him correctly, then hanging up on him. he rang back, i hung up. repeatedly. he called back and tried to say something which i ignored and told him he could shove that comment up his arse, and haung up again. he called back, i asked him “what?”. he explained how he was just joking, trying to lighten the conversation. i explained i wasnt laughing. AT ALL.

so what? was he joking? was it just a bad joke? arent bad jokes full of insensitiveness? dont they show that the joker has little respect for the jokee?

the worst part is, that i am now reconsidering a few things.
1. was it somehow my fault?
2. do i not have the right to wear what i want and still command respect?
3. am i to blame, wholly or partially, for someone elses poor behaviour?
4. was my friend really joking or is that how he feels?
5. what has he really been thinking about this on previous occassions?
6. am i taking this all too seriously?
7. is not taking this seriously a reflection of lack of respect for myself?
8. is thinking about this and this very post itself not giving this man more impact than he deserves?
9. what differences are there between what i think of my myself, and what others percieve?
10. could i and should i be aware of this and make changes in myself to have these opposing opinions brought more into line with one another?

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