religion is a dirty word

i know alot of people think my weird stuff is bullshit. i know that. i also dont blame them. it is a difficult thing to explain. its long, complicated and is based in ideas that many gave up on hundreds of years ago. I also know that sooner or later, those close to me see things of my weird crap that defies explination, and leaves them with the inescapable fact that perhaps its not so crap after all. I dont know if this simply offends their preconcieved notions, makes them doubt things they had held to be true, or causes them to in some small way re-evaluate their own beliefs, but it does cause confusion, and cant be denied that there may just be something to it.

Usually the smart ones simply decide that their own beliefs hold the “correct” story, and that mine, whilst at least logical, is nevertheless wrong. that i simply believe the wrong explination, yet the results remain the same. this way the proven truth of the matter is undisputed, and the faith parts are not tested. because that debate has raged forever, has never been proven, and probably never will be. (it can also cause arguments which lets face it, no one can win, so why hurt a relationship with something that can never be resolved?)

dont get me wrong, im not saying my beliefs are right and theirs are wrong. or vice versa. i would never suggest and view was right, simply that this is what i PERSONALLY hold to be true. those close to me know that i consistantly adjust my beliefs. the way i see it, there is always new things to be learnt. the more you learn, the more refined your beliefs become. i take note of what all the people whose opinions i value believe, and each of those believes something different. i find it amazing that in almost every religion (i really hate that word) the central message is the same. the differences are in the telling of this message, and the stories that surround it. to me, these “details” arent that important. this is regularly reinforced to me by the number of arguments these different details cause. how many times have you seen people who essentially believe the same things, argue over the small stuff? i dont see how those small differences matter. i think theyre actually a good thing. they keep you thinking, questioning and evaluating your own beliefs. i dont think that believing in something because you were told to is EVER a good idea. intelligent people listen, then decide for themselves. and making decisions requires you to question, and questioning things is never a bad thing.

so why do some people persist in finding those small thing to be the biggest deal?

those friends who are giving me the most grief at the moment are those who share the biggest similarities between their core beliefs and my own.

alot of the crazy bits that i am getting grief over at the moment are not things i am usually into. they are things i turn to as a sort of “last resort”. im not sure how i sit with these things, but have had way too many experiences to discount them. i know they work. i just havent decided on what i believe as to HOW they work. that they DO work is a fact that even those friends cannot dispute. only the how and why. to which i finally get around to making the point of this post, which is…..

does WHY and HOW even matter?

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