Such a long time……

OK so since Saturday morning………….
Such a long time ago…………
I cant even really remember Saturday. Oh yeah – Went trekking around after that thing for DH. Drove bloody everywhere to pick it up. Then it was Bugalugs’ Xmas Concert in the arvo. He had so much fun – and he was brilliant! remembered all the words and did a great job! Had Santa arrive on his Harley – all the kids loved it – even the big kids…
Sunday. Fixed the stupid arsed car. And DH came round & undid that last bolt – bastard had no problem – boys must have started it, and if they didnt, Im still going to say they did. Ha ha ha.
Was rather helpful on the decision thing. Listened. Asked questions (intelligent ones, not nosey ones) Gave advice. Supported the advice with sensible reasoning. hmmmm. (private thoughts here)
So after that (me being rather drunk and all) decided when he was leaving that Id be a pain (not that he’d complain – or be surprised). Couple of things that got me:
1. Teeth
2. His Obsession
3. Disbelief
So after he left i drank a heap more, and basically passed out. I didnt like the decision he helped me make, but i know he was right. I was just hoping for a way to justify another option. I dont know if he realised how big it was for me. I think he did a bit, but not sure the full extent was realised.
Then comes Monday, and my decision became irrelevant
My world fell apart, and so did FGRs. The secret was let out by the person who had most to lose, and it wasnt me. He tried to make things even worse for me, and with help from DH i did that myself, even though it was the only option available. So i did it. I told FGR a lie. A big one. To protect everyone involved, and keep things hidden where they belonged after so long. But he fucked up. FGR called him to yell about his stupidity, and he made a mistake. let something slip. And all the pieces came together in FGRs head. FGR knew.
And I was in trouble. For keeping it secret for so many years. For not trusting FGR enough to have told him at some point in all that time. For talking to DH instead.(the only impartial person i could trust). And most of all for lying. Lying so good that for once he believed it, instead of immediately knowing it was a lie.
Then FGR found him. And.
And then things just kept getting worse. Was a massive day, and DH was there for all of it. Gave me a kick up the bum too at one point, which i needed. It was a pansy arsed kick, but nevertheless, he did it. He listened to it all, gave advice, supported me, told me off, the whole lot. Maybe i was right – maybe there is a good friend in that one. But thats another story, and its not for sure yet so anyhooooo. No wonder i got sick.
Tuesday was a bit of a continuation of Monday, just not so severe. Too many unnecessary trips to freakn monavale, but oh well, what are you going to do? Still sick.
Wednesday was easier. went to JFT for most the day. Still sick. Tried to push the point and go back to where it all started, which i havent done since that night. Was going to ask DH to go with, in case, but decided against it. In the end i chickened out anyway. hen it was Bugalugs’ Graduation. How cool was that! I think i might blog it seperately later, as it deserves a better post than this one. Then I got my phone bill for this month. $6547.70. Bloody ridiculous. Im blaming DH. more then 1 >80 minute call to him on there. Not good. Mind you, was alot of other calls too. Heaps more than usual to the boys. And a long cal to Brissy or two…. and ACT……and lets not forget Auckland…….so maybe not so much DHs fault. Oh well LOL.
And as for DH and his asking for me to burn those CDs. God. Give a girl a chance, yeah? And to think – Id already sorted that. Before he rang I ducked out & grabbed some CDRs and a case, and even decided to bother giving him track listings, and how to do it. All this to go with MY system that i offered. But thats a whole other post, along with the “good friend in that one” post.
Now Im not so sure I should be so nice. Especially since he asked for it, when I was already doing it. Maybe its coz he doesnt know me so well, but that excuse should be wearing thin, shouldnt it? oh oh – other post creeping back in……..
So im going. But think i WILL have to talk to him about that. And my door.

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