I quit

tired of being the key stone

sick of being a rock

really needed a friend to ask “whats wrong Honey?” just ONCE this past fortnight.

had hoped to lean on someone for a change, instead of having them lean on me

all i want is for someone to show that im important to them. that for a moment i come first in their world.

just sick of all the crap. of being the one everyone calls, but not able to call them back. of putting my stuff last in favour of the sacredness of friendship, and people in need. of all the monodirectional favour-moungoring. of being so freaking nice to people who are assholes the second your back is turned. of giving out second chances like candy.

most of all im tired of knowing whats happening and being unable to change it. because i dont want to stop being me. i give. its what i do. its what makes me, me. its how i cope. by taking care of everyone i can forget about needing to take care of me. i dont want to deal with my shit. its buried for a reason. by dealing with yours i can avoid it a bit longer. i just think that its finally reaching the point where someone needs to start taking care of me and mine. because to be totally, soul baringly honest – im too scared to. and since the soul is being bared, and ill probably not get the guts to do this again, and certainly never have before, so its now or never…….

im asking for help. please.

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