oh crap

hmmm

So. Now not only does DH know about this blog (no WAY hes getting the old site addy) but actually had to sit there while he read it in front of me. NOT GOOD! Was going to stop blogging about him, but you know what? fuck it. I’ll blog all i damn well want on my site, and ill blog whatever subject i want! Either he’ll be here regularly or never, so whatever. I only just changed to here, and am not bothering to change back on his account. Found it most amusing that he realised straight away that he was DH and what it stood for. Even funnier when he asked who SHARK was. te he he. ah well. And to think i nearly called him TURTLE in here instead, and thought better of it because he’d figure it out immediately.

So anyway, quoting the cars turned into a drama. Of course it did, it was part of MY life wasnt it? And since DH was on the fone to his non existant friends, i swung round to do a pickup from FGR who of course had to have a sticky beak send me a txt about it straight after i left. Drove past the office and checked the car park but SS wasnt there. AGAIN. GRRRRRRR!!!!!! Definately need to do something about that girl. Got back home and fart arsed around mostly, till DH decided to leave without sorting anything, despite a few gentle attempts from me to get the conv round to that subject. So of course, with him having been here for hours, and not having sorted anything out, as he left i called him back. Sat down and said I was out. That I obviously wasnt as important to him as I deserved to be, and in that case, would finish up the work i had promised to do for him, but that was it. Game over. I dont care who wins, I forfeit. Well, that got him to decide to sit down and have it out. I made him go first, which he did. (omg, i know) Said alot that I’d worked out, few things i didnt know, but basically spoke alot without actually getting anywhere. Then came my turn. Wanted to just come out and say a few things but chose not to. Dont think they would have been taken the right way. Had to be rather careful seeing as how this was make or break time. (for me at least, cant speak for others). Know i said this to SHARK and MIN at least and prob FGR & RE too but for the benefit of others, from the sounds of him youd think i was out to trap him into a fucking lifelong committment! All these comments about “dont think i can give you what you want” (re time) and “dont want to lose you as a friend” etc. I mean HELLO!!!! This is honey your talking to! How many times have i had to tell people to slow down? How many obsessions have i had to dodge? And HOW many proposals am i up to now??????? Now Im not saying I’d rule out anything serious happening later, he’s really a good man, BUT. You all know how I am on that. So I said my bit on how I need more face to face time with him, and that goes for the friendship as well as the attraction. He commented on how often he calls me (which yes I do know is a sign he likes me – as he keeps saying) and I even admitted that that was getting too much. Actually, its not getting too much, it was too much quite some time ago. But he’s cute so he gets away with it a bit LOL.

So at one point he mentioned that he’d have trouble visiting even once a week. PMSL. I KNOW!!! hehehe. So i went for it and told him how i felt on that. To a point at least. I think he got a surprise. God help him if I ever told him the real situation there. I dont think he’d like it. I just dont think he gets where im coming from. Even now after today. Its hard to tell him, because i know how it sounds. And its not what girls are supposed to say, is it? But if this truly is the new site for emptying my brain, then i guess i should come out with it. (doubt he’d bother coming back here….if he could even find it again in the first place!)

Now this is something that I HAVE tried to tell a few people. It never quite comes out right, but i did get it close on the last site, so i will copy and paste that post here.

It was so hard not just just sit there and say that all i wanted was to swap some phone time for face to face time, and for him to let me play with him a bit!

Oh yeah – I did say that. ROFLMAO!

Ah dear. lost my train of thought from laughing too hard. will post rest later. and find that old one to copy here

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