Friday (gotten around to posting on Monday – shaddup!)

Bugalugs finally got an award at school. Hooray!

Considering this is a kid who just a couple of months ago was about to be suspended (in KINDERGARTEN I tells ya, WTF?)

So at the beginning of the week I receieved a letter from his teacher inviting me to attend the school assembly to watch. I cant tell you how good it was to be asked to go up to the school for THAT instead of meetings with the principal!

So I asked my mum if she could make it. Apparently it just wasnt interesting enough, and her response was that she didnt think she could make it & would let me know. If I sound a bit bitchy here, perhaps its coz my mum lives about 8 houses from the school, doesnt work, and has no kids at home either. So please forgive me for being more than slightly pissed off that she needed to consult her busy schedule of daytime soapies for her only grandson.

I also called Dickhead, because I knew Bugalugs would like it, and his teacher had even mentioned that it would be good if Dickhead could make it, that it would mean alot to Bugalugs. I can only assume Bugalugs has been crapping on at school about him. Actually bugalugs is quite enamoured with Dickhead. Go figure. Dickhead not surprisingly said he couldnt make it – working. Sigh.

So Friday came around and I rearranged appointments and ran out of hospital. I visited a gf with her young baby at home whilst I waited for the assembly time to roll around (never one to waste an opportunity, me) & whilst there, Dickhead decided he was able to move things around enough to come up.

Well fuck me, hey!

Being as much like me as he is, and a typical leb, he just had to get everything out of it he could, and so I helped arrange for some shit to be done to one of his cars by the ever obliging Keefer. (MrB previously, but fuck it, Im using normal real life nicknames now. Im lazy, bite me.) Keefer of the “wholesale cost is $296. Nah, I can do better than that for ya!” See, no wonder Dickhead likes him.

So Dickhead collected me from Min’s place, and I drove his car to Keefer to feel whats wrong with it. God. Thats 2 cars of his that I dont like. At least this one isnt nicknamed “the bitch”. Well, it got that name for electrocuting me, the bitch! We dropped the car off, and Dickhead drove us to Bugalugs’ thing.

Poor bastard! No sooner did we get there, but the assembly was being held outdoors in the sun, and whos waving to us with seats saved? Thats right, my MUM.

Bwah hah hah hah hah!

Thats both my parents Dickhead has met now, and both have been unplanned. The poor thing! Of course having her waving at us I couldnt pretend we hadnt seen her, so over we went. Well he may be fasting and feeling crap, but it was me who kept falling asleep. What is it with sun and a seat, and a woman who despite having a speach in front of her has to use the word “um” every 3 words that sends you to nigh nigh land? Poor Dickhead had to keep poking me to wake me up!

Eventually after much other bullshit, Bugalugs got up to get his certificate, and his mum sure was proud. Just for once it wasnt me making a huge scene in public, but my mum who clapped and hollered even though we were meant to wait till the all the recipients were up there. Speculate all you want as to whether I was trying to remain composed somewhat like a normal human in Dickheads presence, but actually I was a bit upset that I just didnt have it in me. Otherwise the bogan westie holla back girl in me would have been on sho fo sho, mo fo’s!

Believe me, inside I was all whooping it up.

Afterwards Dickheads car wasnt ready yet, so we headed to the local shopping centre to waste some time until it was. And every few minutes I had to stop and rest. It was embarressing much. Usually we stop for him to rest his leg, but nup, this time it was all me. It was shocking. I can tell you he really knew I was ill when we walked into one of those discount perfume stores (he smells as good as I do – were a match made in sweet smelling heaven) and I lasted all of 30 secionds before having to walk straight back out. I couldnt breathe. It hurt. It was AWFUL. I coughed. I struggled for breath. I leant against the ballastrade trying to recompose myself. I ended up having to walk into the shop next door and dose up on my inhaler. I hid it from him, yes. I didnt want him to know just how completely fucked I was. The entire trip to the shops was exhausting me completely. I just didnt want to scare him, and I knew it wouldnt be long before Keefer rang to say his car was ready. Im not liking this ramadan thing. Again. Coffee dates make it so much easier to hide how ill I am.

Actually Im not so sure if thats true. I thought Id been hiding it well, but the last few coffee dates we had had he mentioned recently that he had seen me struggling to stand afterwards and get back to my car. I thought Id hidden it, but hed seen me have to sit back down again to get my breath, and make more than one stop on the short walk back to the carpark. It worries me that he sees this. I hate thinking that Im worrying him or scaring him. And in a way, not having people know means it doesnt feel anywhere near as real. So I dont have to deal. Not so much, anyway.

So standing there catching my breath, the bastard notices I have a grey hair. And pulls it out to show me. So much for me laughing at him for being old. Im 26, hes 35. When he doesnt shave, he has plenty of grey hairs in his beard. Hes got a few on his head too, but he keeps his hair cut so short its hard to notice. We have a standing joke about when I’ll have to dump him. Min and I discussed it, along with input from her 40yr old brother, and it was decided that when his balls are saggy, its time to go. No eviction party, just trade him in on a newer model. His response was that he just wouldnt let me play with them anymore so that they stayed in mint condition, but, well, what guy could ever stick to that, huh?

So after berating me about being 26 and having grey hairs….. and just what does he expect, im with him, arent i? And I hang around mostly guys. Of course being around men all the time is going to stress me! We collected his car, and off he went back to work. To which I promptly headed off to see Llama about a couple of things, forgetting about an appointment for treatment and sending the entire Honey Friend Clan into a tizzy. I got there in time. Just. All I can say is thank goodness I put it in my PDA with a reminder alarm! So I guess IM not so teknikmalogikally challenged after all?

So whats the moral to this story? I guess delinquent children still have goodness in them that others besides their mothers can see. Dickheads will sometimes pull out the stops and blow your mind. My mother is still completely fucked in the head & not to be trusted. School Assemblies are still boring. Perfume stores are not places to go if you like air. Keefer is the king of discounts & sourcing parts. And hospitals suck even more when your trying to get there in a hurry. But mostly, my son is a champion and I love him.

Go Bugalugs! w00t!! w00t!!

---

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

• I Forgot
• Letter to Dickhead
• The Silly Season

Explore posts in the same categories: Breathing is Overrated Anyway, Bugalugs, Dickhead, Friends, Religion, Stuff I Know, Teknikmalogikmakal, The Boys, Things That Shit Me, WTFness, Yay